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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I've been his caregiver for 3 yrs. When my mom died I took care of him. He’s a good man and we’ve always been close. He’s been in my life for 30 yrs now but since he declared his love, it’s so weird for me!
As you’ve written, you understand that people do develop inappropriate feelings for their caregivers. He is dependent upon you for his care, comfort and safety.
You say in your profile that you quit your job to care for him. You dion’t say how old you are or how old he is or what his issues are— whether they are physical or mental, such as dementia. You write that you are burned out. You are in a vulnerable state right now. You are anxious and stressed and perhaps reconsidering your commitment to take care of him due to this latest development. Has he said he is “in love”; with you? Did he declare a romantic love or just gratitude for your care?
You write that you feel “weird”. If he is cognizant, explain to him that you understand his gratitude for your care for him but your feelings for him are as a daughter for a father and not romantic in any way. Tell him you may have to consider other arrangements for his care. If he is in any way behaving towards you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened, it’s time to get out. If you have family, or HE does, you must tell them how he is behaving and that you need help. If he tries to become physical with you, immediately call 9-1-1.
My dad was in love with his caregiver. She simply laughed it off. He was 94 and completely incapable of even walking, so he was not ever going to be able to act on it.
I suggest you just wave it off. If he attempts anything...just say to him what my Dads caregiver said to him when he was being rude to her...”do you want me to leave? If this happens again, I will not warn you..I will just leave”. It wasn’t anything like trying to grab her or such...but it would still apply in that situation.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You say in your profile that you quit your job to care for him. You dion’t say how old you are or how old he is or what his issues are— whether they are physical or mental, such as dementia. You write that you are burned out. You are in a vulnerable state right now. You are anxious and stressed and perhaps reconsidering your commitment to take care of him due to this latest development. Has he said he is “in love”; with you? Did he declare a romantic love or just gratitude for your care?
You write that you feel “weird”. If he is cognizant, explain to him that you understand his gratitude for your care for him but your feelings for him are as a daughter for a father and not romantic in any way. Tell him you may have to consider other arrangements for his care. If he is in any way behaving towards you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened, it’s time to get out. If you have family, or HE does, you must tell them how he is behaving and that you need help. If he tries to become physical with you, immediately call 9-1-1.
Sounds like you need a break. Do you have any help at all with him or going it full time alone!
I suggest you just wave it off. If he attempts anything...just say to him what my Dads caregiver said to him when he was being rude to her...”do you want me to leave? If this happens again, I will not warn you..I will just leave”. It wasn’t anything like trying to grab her or such...but it would still apply in that situation.
ps. It never happened again