So, after months of my husband and FIL trying to get my MIL to go to the doctor (I made a post regarding the situation not long ago), she finally went. Well, she was forced to go because her condition looked to be unbearable at that point, so my husband called 911. She'd been suffering from HBP, swollen ankles and legs, fatigue, blood in her stool, etc. She'd also been complaining about a pain in her side for nearly two years, but every time she went to get it looked at, all the doctors did was give her hydrocortisone shots. It turns out, that pain in her side was actually a large mass. After further testing (of everything from her blood, urine, and a colonoscopy), she was diagnosed with kidney cancer. It has spread to her liver. I don't know all of the details of her condition just yet, we only found out yesterday, but I'm curious what her options would be? She is in very poor health otherwise, she has extremely high levels of sodium in her blood, and I'm not sure what the doctors would be able to do for her? We aren't sure how long she's had the cancer, but I'm assuming it's been quite a while since it's spread to other parts of the body.
I do know in my experience as a nurse I’ve seen people with kidney cancer have the kidney (s)removed and go on dialysis & do ok. But not knowing your MIL, I can’t say if this would be an option. At least now with a diagnosis they can prescribe medications to improve her blood count, get fluid off & control her BP.
I suggest getting a list of questions together written down and discuss with her team of doctors.
So sorry about your MIL.
I know my FIL has already come up with a few questions regarding her options and what the outcome should or will be, but he hasn't shared that with us yet. I think he's just in shock right now and wants to take the next few days to spend time with her.
I'll speak with my husband about what he plans on asking, he'll be visiting her in the hospital tomorrow.
Quality of life with each option should be discussed and researched. Sometimes medical professionals don't have realistic expectations about their patients. My dad's oncologist wanted him to undergo six weeks of radiation for his lung cancer. My dad was 91. I told the doc there was NO way we were putting my dad through that. So he had two weeks of radiation to keep him comfortable. He had large burn areas on his sternum after just two weeks. I can't imagine what six weeks would have done to him. My dad lived to 92 and died comfortably.
Is there someone like a pastor or rabbi who could speak with your MIL about her desires once you know her options? It sounds like her health has made her life less than pleasant. So please let her decide (without family pressure) what she wants to do once she hears her options.
I don't think anyone is trying to pressure her. Obviously, the family is sad about what's happening, but you can't force someone to want to go through with something like that. We'll see what happens.
She's not a religious person whatsoever and I feel like the only time she'd have a priest come in and speak with her is when they read her last rites. That's how my grandma was before she passed away. It's certainly something to discuss with her, though.
I'd question her detailed mental capacity when it comes to patient's consent issues, but not how dreadful this is for her. I'm so sorry for what you're all going through.
Her other children were filled in on the next steps, but my husband has taken on the responsibility of researching quality hospice facilities around our area. No one else has been willing to do any of the work.
Thanks to everyone who offered advice and condolences.
Thanks for taking time to update us.
God Bless! She is at peace now.
And what a great husband you have to console & support you.