My mother has been in MC since the beginning of March. It's been a rough adjustment, but things had been improving. This morning I got a call from her, she convinced staff to help her call, telling me that the night med tech had fondled her either last night or the night before when delivering her meds. She had told the day staff and three of them reported it to the Director and they called me. The Director reported it to Adult Protective Services who will be there Monday to perform an inspection.

My mother has a history of accusing a caregiver of molesting her boyfriend years ago. She was jealous of the caregiver because her boyfriend liked the caregiver so much and Mother wanted to get rid of her. Which she did. Her boyfriend denied it. The caregiver had been with us two years and she was truly hurt to be accused. It was a big miserable mess. Everyone but my mother was very upset. Mother smirked and smiled and acted happy. She has already accused several women of having touched her inappropriately at the facility. She also has a history of imagining (hallucinations?) that people are breaking in and stealing kitchen utensils, pillows, etc., before going to MC. This is the first time she got staff involved in her accusations.

She continually asks or demands to go home. I try to redirect or ignore her. I don't believe that anyone has touched her inappropriately. I think she either imagined it or thought she could convince me to take her out of the facility using this story--or a little of both.

I know my mother. I know she will do anything to get her way, without consideration of the consequences to a staff person or anyone. At this point she probably isn't able to understand what she could be doing to that other person's life, ability to find work, etc. She has always been like this, it's a personality trait. She craves attention, is easily bored and expects everyone around her to entertain and admire her. When she doesn't get enough attention, she creates drama or pulls a stunt like this. The dementia makes it worse because she is no longer able to see that she will be caught or not believed, before dementia the possibility of embarrassment would prevent some of this sort of thing, at least to this extent.

I guess it's possible that she could have been molested. But given her history and how well I know her I sincerely doubt it. It's kinda like the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf story. When the wolf really came no one believe him. I hope not.

Thanks, I needed to get this out. Please let me know if anyone else has experienced this.

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I hope the investigation includes you. You need to tell APS this is how she has always been. Its hard to believe someone who suffers from Dementia or has a personality disordered.
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What a tough spot for you. I understand. Without saying too much about my own family, I understand and completely believe you. I hope it somehow works out with minimal harm to all involved.
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It's memory care, so they'll take what she says with a gigantic grain of salt. They will investigate because they're required to, but they know that dementia patients have active imaginations, too.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Let the professionals do their jobs.
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Read your profile too. Glad to see that you have her in MC now. Trying to deal with and care for at home was obviously too much.

That's really horrible if she is falsely accusing anyone of inappropriate touching. Of course, you really can't trust the word of someone in MC. My mom lives with me with early dementia and she can't remember anything. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Answers change. So how can you ever get to the truth? I'm sure that the MC admin knows this. There must be a different rules for how they treat such claims. Sorry you are dealing with this.
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