I have to live with my Mother now. She does not have dementia, incontinence, etc. I know she appreciates the company, and I have tried every weapon in my arsenal to be sweet and patient. I don't get any time whatsoever to myself, and I only 24 minutes out of the day, to watch one cooking show. That never happens; she never shuts up. She will not respect my boundaries : I am with you every second of the day, please pleeeease just five me that 24 minutes. It seems the instant I sit down, I spend most of the time running back and forth for her. When I sit down, she babbles about everything from the obituaries, to how much she hates the chefs hair, to one of the ancient stories. If I never hear another word about 1941, it will be too soon. And in every story she tells, she's the heroine, the most beautiful, sought after, cleverest, and most driven. And God forbid I should pick up the ipad to deal with something ... As far as she is concerned, anything that happens on a computer is pure "playing", and no good can come of it. I am also sick of hearing what a FABULOUS brave heroine she was at both her husbands death AND my husband. Yup, I lost my husband through suicide, yet she is somehow a BIG heroine in that story. She was 400 miles away at the time.
Her hearing is starting to go. And I have to shout the most inane things five or six times ... There's just no way to so that without sounding like a maniac after the fifth time. The other day I was sick sick sick with the flu, just trying to get a little rest, and even with my head covered with a blanket, she stood there and just talked and talked and talked.
Gang, how do I shut her up and get her to leave me alone for just a COUPLE of minutes before I scream, and my brains fall out? Thank you for listening :)
If you sit down, don't get up and do something for her. Give her a pad and pencil and let her write out what she wants, which you can retrieve perhaps once per morning and once per afternoon.
And she's talking probably because she's lonely, perhaps subconsciously afraid of what will happen to her... it may be a kind of nervous talk.
Can you turn on a game show that she can watch interactively and pretend she's a participant?
I would guess that the "most beautiful", most everything comments are her attempts to resurrect in her mind life at a better time, to reach back and escape the traps of her current age and deterioration.
Does she read? If so, order a subscription to Reminisce or Reminsce Extra. They focus on life in the Depression and WWII and thereafter.
And get her some hearing aids.
You might also try headphones; it's rude, but she'll get the message.
She's not even a lawyer.
For NomdeVoyage, maybe you can listen to music on your iPod and turn the volume up when she starts yakking away. Have you considered setting aside some time each day for her to hold forth with your undivided attention? After "talk time" is over, you could ask her to hold that thought until next time because you have pressing business to attend to.
You say she doesn't have dementia, so I assume she's been checked out by a neurologist. Has she always been a non-stop talker? There's such a thing as pressured speech, which is one of the symptoms of bipolar mania, as well as anxiety disorders and schizophrenia. I've met a couple of these people and they wear you out with their chatter.
It still annoys the h*ll out of me though.
Not to be rude, caring for babies and small children is totally different from difficult elderly.
As for changing the subject away from her - good luck with that!
See All Answers