Mom had a stroke Monday late morning. Was sent to ER and sent back. Can't swallow on hospice now. This ALF is superb. Brought a bed to me, some aids and nurses cried when they were told she wouldn't make it through the night. 24 hours she is still with me. They bring me food, snacks
I still can't give up. I lay her watching her breath. Constantly telling her how much I love her. I'm in denial even I know without being able to swallow this can't go on forever. I'm in shock and don't know what will happen.
I tried to hug a nephew he turned away. He barley knew mom
The worst was when I was standing at the casket about half way through and another nephew came up and put both hands on casket, I thought he was coming up to be kind. Well, I rubbed his back and he said "don't do it". I (dumbly said) don't do what? He said very rudely, "leave me be"! So I turned to walk away, ( hindsight I Should have him to get out or at least ask why he even came)
So I turned and to my surprise, it was like moms spirit jumped in me and I turned back and said, "well, you left her be all these years, so I have no problem leaving you be". I was shocked about the whole thing. Ruined the whole day for me and I can't get past the nerve of it. It's eating me alive. No class whatever.
I'm sure in their "heard" they were seeing who had the nerve to show their "low" class. Just a few years ago this same nephew saw my daughter and she mentioned the family not speaking to me, he said, hey, I'll talk to her, that his family all they thought about was money (got that right). His mom married very wealthy after my brother died. She is the on who started the whole thing years ago. As soon as she married my brother decades ago it was only a few month before she caused the first fall out.
I'm still swimming in my head - foggy brain
So sad they ruined my moms funeral.
All those nephews and not 1 would be Paul bearer. I did catch 1 and got him to help, but had to have funeral home people and my daughters in laws do it while they stood in the back.
I had a lot of support from friends and other family, thankfully
Everyone is asking the same question. "why did they even come"
The funeral was a fiasco. Wish I would have taken orangeblossum
I'm alone with her. Thank God for all the wonderful staff at this awesome facility.
They are angels.
You have answered all your own questions concerning your relatives. They are not worth a glance from you. Suggestions: At the funeral, if anyone wants to know if she left a will, tell them "This is NOT the appropriate time to be asking such questions", and "my lawyer will contact you if you need to be involved". Whoever shows up and asks questions at the funeral or any other time, you might say "I can't answer that question right now, but I'll check with the lawyer, and HE he will call you." In other words, be very cool to them at the funeral, and lay it all on your lawyer to handle them when the time comes for the reading of the will. Tell them to make sure they leave their contact information in the guest book. Try not to blow your top. If they are persistient, ask them to leave or have the funeral director escort them out. You don't need them to like you, but they WILL respect you if you don't let them rattle you. Good luck with this. My prayers are with you.
It will be a short 2 hour viewing service with graveside service as well. I swear I'll hit the ceiling if any of them come up and start asking questions, they should have asked years ago.
When she turned 80 I gave her a surprise birthday party. Cost $3,300. They chipped in$0.00 had a limo and everything. When limo pulled up they all ran up to it and took the credit for everything. Did not turn over a finger to help. Mom thought it was their deal took me 10 month to plan. Had a movie made of her life. Vultures!
Love your Mom and store these memories. They are very, very dear memories.. and sacred.
I am the one who won with the wonderful memories we shared. I don't been want any of them there. Mom expressed that to me, but my. Daughter thinks it will bite me in the butt. Lawyer had me go sign a paper as I'm still her DPOAicould have private or public
I hate dysfunctional families that gang up on the only one who gave a hoot.
Again thank you. Hospice is shocked she isn't gone. She knows im here and not
Ready. I love so much. Any more insights. I've got lots of time to read here.
Hugs to you and Mom, Here4her:) xo
Her 1 left (2 deceased) has not called or had anything to do with her about 9 years. Nor have 10 of 11 grandchildren.
They are selfish troublemakers that turned on her and me years ago.
I am not going to notify them until it's over. Not putting her or I through the chaos.
What are your thoughts? A
Her attorney agrees with me.