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Can someone please help me? I have the same problom except my grandpa still lives at home and I moved in so he wouldn't be alone and he's just so far gone it's hard to be here all the time I have to go to work and he doesn't sleep so he's up all night taking the sinks apart and anything he can get his hands on he says he wants something to do but I have no idea what I can leave for him to take apart and put back together that would help his need to take things apart? Any suggestions would b amazing thanks so much guys!!

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Grandpa needs 24/7 care in memory care. You should not be stuck with this. Where are his children?
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They don't want to put him in a home so that's y things r the way they are :-( they hers bad things about nursing homes so that's y they won't ive tried everything I can to talk to them about it and it's going no where so I'm just trying to do the best I can here
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Hi, I agree your grandfather shouldn't be left alone, but why is it your responsibility to watch for him? If he is up all night wandering and doing what he does, he shouldn't be at home. He is a danger to himself, and should be in memory care or a dementia unit. I suggest you tell your extended family members to come and spend 2 days with your grandfather and move to suitable accommodation for you. That way they will really see what he is like, he should be in a supervised place 24/7, not at home. Think of yourself first. All the best, Arlene Hutcheon
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Can you get gpa to a doctor for suggestions on giving him something to sleep ?

He doesn't necessarily need to be in a nursing home but maybe a board and care facility where there are others for him to interact with

One man at my mom's memory care facility was the same way - loved to tinker with things and always worried about his equipment and tools and was looking for something to do

One night I gave him some peanuts in the shells and he sat and cracked them and separated them til he wire himself out
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Grampa should not be home alone all day. You should not have to get up several times a night and then go to work in the morning. Something here HAS to change. The current situation is simply not viable.

Sleep disturbances are very common in dementia, and can be very difficult to treat, but don't give up without trying. Talk to his doctor about how important this is.

An adult day health program may be perfect for Grampa while you are at work. It will provide lots of opportunities to interact with others and healthy activities. Most programs pick the participants up on a bus and bring them home at the end of the day. Hot lunch is provided. Look into this in your area. My husband went about 2 years. It was highly successful for him.

Maybe with help you can continue to be his primary caregiver for a while longer (if you want to). But people with dementia do usually wind up needing 24/7 care in a facility set up to deal with their impairments. The nature of the disease will dictate that, regardless of what the rest of the family wants.
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I just wanted to tell everyone thank you so much for your suggestions and advice I really appreciate it and yes I do agree with all of you. I have Ben very much physically and emotionally were out from this on top of my everyday life stuff I think it's Ben about 7 months since I moved in to take care of him and not only am I worried for him I'm also worried about Mr driving to and from work I've Ben falling asleep driving and I live an hour away from work. So I'm going to beg a family member to please stay a couple nights so they can see exactly what's going on and see that he does need 24 hr care my only concern is getting someone to do that I'm not feeling very positive about it all I can do is hope someone will come for at least a day to evaluate him and make a different decision besides leaving him at home alone because he truly needs more than what I can do and I can't seem to get anyone to understand its what's best for him I think they feel it's disrespectful to him because he built his house and they think he should stay here until it's his time which is understandable but if that's what we're going to continue to do it needs to be more than just me...
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Brandee
I'm not sure of your family ties but if your parents are living I would hope they would care about your welfare more than your aunts and uncles or cousins

If this situation was set up initially to provide you with assistance i.e. Room and board in exchange for keeping an eye on grandpa then you have to speak up and let them know you are drowning

I know a young man who still has tremendous guilt as he was living with and caring for his grandfather- he turned his back for a couple of minutes during shower time and gpa fell broke his hip and died 2 months later in a nursing home

If you're not living with your family can you support yourself?
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Brandee1984, nursing homes today are so much better than they were decades ago.   Your grandfather would be around people closer to his own age where he can make new friends, and the guys can watch sports together on TV in the main TV room.... the nurses and aides will be there around the clock in case he needs any help.   Some places even offer physical therapy which is good to strengthen the body.

Now if money is an issue, Grandfather can sign up for Medicaid which has State programs where they would even pay for Grandfather's care in a nursing home.   No money will come out of any of the relatives pockets.

Now, the big thing is trying to convince your family. Tell them what you told us, that you are falling asleep while driving to work because of the lack of sleep, and it's exhausting.   I would add that you are scared you would get into an accident and hurt someone.   If I were a parent, I would stand up and take notice, and make some changes.
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NPR (a usually reliable source) has an article with statistics about driving while sleep deprived. They say about 20% of highway fatalities involve a sleepy driver.

PLEASE take care of yourself in this particular aspect. Continuing to drive without enough sleep puts you at serious risk. (And then who takes care of Grampa?) It also put other drivers and pedestrians at risk.

Not being able to sleep through the night is one of the reasons people wind up in care facilities. One person cannot care for such a person around the clock -- not and stay safe and sane.

I hope you can persuade your family to see the truth and make other arrangements. If not, take matters into your own hands. Inform your family in writing (so everyone gets the same message) that as of such-and-such a date you will be moving out. Give yourself enough time to find housing (maybe closer to your work!) and enough time for them to make other arrangements, but don't make the notice open-ended. Don't say "as soon as I find an apartment or as soon as you can make other arrangements. " Say "by June 30th" or a specific date that will work for you.

I hope it doesn't come to that. I hope gpa's doctor can help with the sleep disturbance. I hope you can find a good day program for him. Above all I hope your family wakes up to reality. But as a last resort, just quit. It is not only the right thing to do for yourself, but for your grandfather as well.
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I think maybe talking to your grandpas physician is in order. This could be dangerous and you don't want your grandpa to get hurt. In the meantime try puzzles, adult coloring books, but your grandpa may need to be in a memory care center, or require medication. Hugs and prayers
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Thanks guys .... as to the questions yes I can afford to live by myself and I'm not staying here because I have no where to go , and as to his doctor I cant do anything because my mom says I'll b stepping on my uncles toes he's supposed to take him to appointments but the problom with that is it's Ben years since he's seen a doctor and I have no say in it so basically I'm kinda doing what I can from the sidelines I'm going to try this weekend to get everyone together and just say hey I know everyone cares about grandpa but what we're doing right now isn't good for him and he would b happier in a nursing home with 24 hr care and ppl his age and activities to keep him occupid and so 4th around those lines so wish me luck I'll keep everyone posted on how it goes.... like I said it's not that no one cares their just not here enough to see that he would b happier somewhere else I think they believe he wouldn't want to leave his home and feel it's disrespectful to him to take him out of it so it's going to take some convincing. ... thanks again everyone. ....
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Thank you everyone for your help and support and advice on everything and as for the questions you asked.... yes I do have somewhere to go and don't need to stay here for food and housing and as for his doctor I cant do anything because my mom says I'll b stepping on my uncles toes he's supposed to take him to appointments but the problom with that is it's Ben years since he's seen a doctor I have no clue why but there's nothing I can do about it.... its like I'm trying to help as much as I can from the sidelines but there's only so much I can do and about him going to a nursing home they want to keep him at home ... it's not because no one loves him they just think it's disrespectful to take him out of his own house so I have to make them see its kinda torchure for him to not go because all he does is walk around confused by himself and that's no fun for him and if he's in a home someone could keep an eye on him 24 hrs and like u guys said b around ppl his age and make friends it's not fair to him so this weekend I'm going to try my but off to talk to everyone and get them to see what I see so I can finally get him some help cross your fingers for me guys I'll keep u posted on what happens u just prey I can do something to help weat her it b adult day care, nursing homes, or a care giver anything really and I was wondering does anyone know if it would b legal for me to give him a tylonal pm at night it's overy the counter but I don't know what the law is about that?
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Oh yea I didn't mean to answer 2ce I didn't realize it went through the first time lol sorry about that!
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