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This must have been asked before but I have found any questions on it, probably not looking well enough.


My mom moved from her house to indy senior living a few months ago. She still has not sold her house, as she has not taken the steps to clean out the junk. While my brothers and I have tried, she will not let us haul away junk without going through it, which she doesn't.


Anyway, I diverge. Her senior apartment is a couple miles from the house. Wondering if during this time, we should move her back to her house so she is not in a place that cannot totally keep it sterile


Today the place did institute a no visitors policy, and I am glad about that, but people can still leave, circulate, then come back (I joked with director that they should institute a policy that I cannot even pick my mom up, so I would not have to go there anymore)


But wondering with an empty home sitting there anyway, maybe she could move back for a while and use the time to clean up the junk and get it ready to sell?

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You cannot keep anything "sterile" unless you are in an operating room, and even ORs have issues with sterility. Leave her where she is. She will get better service and care there than you can give her. My FIL lives in an indy living and they are stocked and ready for anything. You cannot possibly replicate their provisions and available resources.
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well, based on advice here, I asked what my mom thinks. She doesn't always think well. I in fact had same concern Lvnsm had, what if she didn't want to move back

Well, she has stated in no uncertain terms she is NOT moving back home, so its her decision and maybe the right one

I feel like some of us with elderly parents are worrying more about them than they do themselves. I note a lot seem like, they have weathered tough times throughout their lives with the depression, wars, etc, and this is another one. Eventually their time will come one way or another.

Thanks for all the good input.
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What if she doesn't want to go back to IL after going home. That would be my concern
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Thanks for all the answers. They are helpful and make me lean towards leaving her where she is.

My moms health (almost ninety, but like someone twenty years younger in many ways) seems good.

Her current place is independent living, so not a lot of help available for her. There is a connected building for assisted living, but that is not where she is, so shes not getting much help there anyway.

I agree she would not use the opportunity to be back home to clean the house up to sell, that is just a dream, the main reason would be to get her out of the apartment where despite their good efforts, people can still leave, circulate, and come back, even though they are asking people not to go to shopping malls, large events, etc.
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Independent senior living - I agree with Kat, this is up to her, isn't it?

For this to be worth doing from a quarantine point of view, you would have to set her up with supplies enough to make her entirely self-sufficient. You don't visit, nobody visits, she sits tight and waits out the peak.

Is she fully independent with activities of daily living? Really fully, I mean?

I fear for my clients, I really do. Many of them are over 80, and of course many of them have 'underlying conditions' or we wouldn't be there, and rather too many of them have nothing to do all day but watch the news - with the result that they practically have garlic and crucifix to hand when they see us coming.

I explained to a couple yesterday that I am disinfecting my indoor shoes between calls, using hand gel before and after, washing my hands on arrival (counting one elephant, two elephants, three elephants... up to twenty elephants), putting on gloves and apron then, and taking my temperature every morning before I set off on my rounds. "Yes, YOU are," they replied, in duet. I didn't follow through on that.

Besides, I think I am going to give up. Why?

I can resist herd mentality, but only up to a point. I know I am following best practice guidelines. My coworkers know that I am a PITA who shows them up and makes trouble. And after all what are we doing for our clients, brain surgery? - no, we're helping them get their suppers, change into their nightwear, get into bed. Even my kindly Shift Leader is ready to throttle me: she can't go off duty until we have all checked in as safely home. Half past eleven at night, the day before yesterday, that was. It's all very well for me to think what's an extra three minutes, but three x eight or nine, on a shift that's already overrunning because we're short of staff - it's not okay to volunteer somebody else for unpaid overtime.

It's also *pointless*. When there's a situation where unless EVERYBODY does it, (including, for example, postmen - like what, hand gel before and after every single address?) whatever you're doing is simply not going to help, then you might as well devote your energies to other tactics.

How is your mother's general health?
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GardenArtist Mar 2020
CM, you are a valuable employee.  I hope your supervisors realize that, and cherish you accordingly, but I do know that care agencies operate like other for profit agencies.
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Doesn’t make any sense to me. I wouldn’t have blind faith like that. No need to have high expectations from a person who hasn’t put any thought whatsoever of that into that type of change. Why would you believe she is interested in doing that?
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Need more info in order to assess.

For starters, what does she think??
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Karsten, why on earth would you think that your mother will start sorting through her stuff now, when she hasnt in all the years she's lived at home?

Keep her where she is. Call on your own schedule.
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