I am taking moms loss well. There is no need to be sad. Mom is now at peace. My husbands says I am in shock. But I feel such as sense of calmness. I did my best to take care of mom so there is no guilt. Maybe thats why I feel calm. I just feel lost, I was so used to my strict routines with mom. I want to get back to work and move on. But where do I start again? I have been out of the work force for almost 3years. The job industry is crap. Higher education is not financially feasible at this time. A while back ago I was offered a good job but declined. Now position is gone.
How do I start putting my life back together? I am no longer the person I used to be, pre-mom. The world has moved on and I was forgotten.
i think i would like to do this on a part time basis for the vns hospice.
that might be your answer to your feeling of lonelyness.
with the boomers being such a large group, caregivers are a shortage,and you have had expirence
Be kind to yourself, pamper yourself. It has to be hard to be in the "routine" and have it broken. I myself worry about just what you are dealing with now. You are probably flittingn around like a moth to a flame. Give yourself some time to decide what you want to do. I wouldn't jump into a job that is unfullfilling. You have been through a rough stretch. Think about what would make you happy, you deserve it. It's been a stressful ride, don't jump into any more stress..jump into happiness as your mom would want for you.
Reclaiming your life through community reintegration and self-sufficiency will make anyone drop his dentures. You're at a crossroads; grieving, lonely, daunted. But giving in and giving up wasn't an option when you were a caregiver.
For now, stop haunting your own house and take a stroll through the neighborhood when the sun is high and bright. Sit on a park bench and strike a conversation with someone seemingly harmless and receptive. S/he might think you went out to lunch and never came back, but it doesn't matter. The purpose is getting back to life.
You can also surf the Web for Bereavement Groups to alleviate the shock laced with bits of denial that you're going through. Sharing with others will help you accept the loss and get through the healing process.
Your husband's arm around your shoulders is definitely a start.