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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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End of life issues are never easy, especially because we've gotten so good at keeping people alive. To top it off, my 91 year old mother (former RN) has told me more than once that most people don't want to die. But I do think quality of life combined with truthfully considering what you would want for yourself is sn important consideration. No matter what, we are all going to die. The scary part is we really don't know what that means. Is there more waiting for us or nothing. Realistically it's only those two options. If there's more, what would it be (we all have our own hopes)? And if there's nothing than it won't matter. It's so much easier to hang onto what we know for certain.
My FIL had a hemmoragic stroke and was bed-ridden for 3 yrs. He lost his appetite and a feeding tube was put in to provide enough nutrition. His mind was good. He finally said that he'd had enough....."This is a He** of a way to die! Take it out!" The extended care facility he was in had a psychatrist in to consult with him. The Dr. asked about why he wanted the tube taken out & he responded with the same statement as above. The Dr then asked if he was aware of what would happen if the tube was removed. My FIL told the Dr. "I'll die" "This is inhumane for someone like me". They followed his wishes and he passed away 28 - 30 days later. My Husband and I agree that we would not want to be in that position. Only if there was a high chance that recovery would be possible, would we want this for ourselves.
To boomer1948: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/03/23/opinion/polls/main682674.shtml
Sad, but true. Terry was just one example. Her parents wanted to take care of her; her doting "husband" was living with another woman and fathered children with his new woman; yet he was allowed to make the decision even though no paperwork existed. He had abondoned her; her parents wanted her. No brainer. This was yet another disgusting example of how common sense and compassion took a back seat to contemporary thoughts on life's value and quality. I think Terry's parents knew better than anyone what qulity of life she could have with them.
Quality of life is the most important factor in making a determination with regards to continuing use of a feeding tube or its' removal. I recently watched my FIL die, over a period of five weeks. He was not on a feeding tube. Hospitalization for a mild heart attack, at age 90, caused hospital delirium for which he did not recover and lost all cognition. Had a feeding tube been used, we have no way of knowing how long he would have lived. His prolonged and assisted existence would have been inhumane, to some degree. Death is sometimes the right thing to allow for it is a natural function of the brain that controls when the dying process begins.
With regard to dinak's comment. Being ethical in your decision is of course most important, but by no means is it cruel or lacking in moral judgment to decide not to use a J tube. I disagree that most people nowadays want to "pull the plug" and starve/dehydrate people to death. People today better understand the need for advanced directives and make choices based on the long term quality of life for the patient, not necessarily the loved ones.
I love the response above from MIndingOurElders. It seems like nowadays most people want to pull the plug and starve/dehyrate people to death. Everything that MInding wrote is spot-on ethically.
That's a long time to be on a feeding tube. What is his quality of life? Can he communicate his wishes to you?
Please talk with the doctor and ask about this. Consider alternatives if there are any. If he does well and enjoys life to some extent, perhaps he can remain on a feeding tube indefinitely. However, if he is non-communicative, and you know he wouldn't want years of this, you may want to talk to the doctor about different alternatives, such as hospice care. In otherwords, is this just keeping his body alive, or is he living some kind of life?
The main thing to me is what he would want. What have his comments been throughout life as to these methods of staying alive? Many people do really well with tubes, because they are otherwise in good shape. That is the basic question. Your doctor should be able to help you find answers. Carol
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
He lost his appetite and a feeding tube was put in to provide enough nutrition. His mind was good.
He finally said that he'd had enough....."This is a He** of a way to die! Take it out!" The extended care facility he was in had a psychatrist in to consult with him. The Dr. asked about why he wanted the tube taken out & he responded with the same statement as above. The Dr then asked if he was aware of what would happen if the tube was removed. My FIL told the Dr. "I'll die" "This is inhumane for someone like me".
They followed his wishes and he passed away 28 - 30 days later.
My Husband and I agree that we would not want to be in that position. Only if there was a high chance that recovery would be possible, would we want this for ourselves.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/03/23/opinion/polls/main682674.shtml
Sad, but true. Terry was just one example. Her parents wanted to take care of her; her doting "husband" was living with another woman and fathered children with his new woman; yet he was allowed to make the decision even though no paperwork existed. He had abondoned her; her parents wanted her. No brainer. This was yet another disgusting example of how common sense and compassion took a back seat to contemporary thoughts on life's value and quality. I think Terry's parents knew better than anyone what qulity of life she could have with them.
With regard to dinak's comment. Being ethical in your decision is of course most important, but by no means is it cruel or lacking in moral judgment to decide not to use a J tube. I disagree that most people nowadays want to "pull the plug" and starve/dehydrate people to death. People today better understand the need for advanced directives and make choices based on the long term quality of life for the patient, not necessarily the loved ones.
you are religious.
Please talk with the doctor and ask about this. Consider alternatives if there are any. If he does well and enjoys life to some extent, perhaps he can remain on a feeding tube indefinitely. However, if he is non-communicative, and you know he wouldn't want years of this, you may want to talk to the doctor about different alternatives, such as hospice care. In otherwords, is this just keeping his body alive, or is he living some kind of life?
The main thing to me is what he would want. What have his comments been throughout life as to these methods of staying alive? Many people do really well with tubes, because they are otherwise in good shape. That is the basic question. Your doctor should be able to help you find answers.
Carol