My mother is declining rapidly and does not eat much when she is fed very soft food. She can no longer feed herself and she has lived in the nursing home for four years. Her living will states no feeding tubes, etc. to keep her alive for she wants to die a natural death. When she is no longer able to be fed by hand and the living will is invoked takes, will hospice come in to care for her or will she be sent home for hospice to care for her or what?
Just FYI in our case, Mom came home for a total of seven days. During that time we saw her rise mightily, grabbing her upper arm and saying, "Oh no." Then rising to eat all soft food we prepared. We learned later that she could not process that food. But the comfort the two spoonfuls of ice cream or home made potato soup gave to her was one of my best memories in life. She also one one day became incredibly hostilely delirious and it was awful. But as she went to sleep the last three nights, she winked at us. We think she knew. I am still in shock and grieving after three years. But I ask myself, "Who would do what you did for her, for you?" The answer is "Nobody." You just go with the moment and your good heart. Nobody could ask for more. You are a dear human being to even post your concerns, as I know you felt guilty for taking the time to do so. I recognize what an incredible human being you are. And you are not alone.
Hospice is certainly a great service, since they understand all the subtleties of food and water and will keep the person from hurting and suffering. Musicians are even hired by hospice to play for the patient- what a loving way to go!
If you break a leg, they will set it, but you probably will get little or no PT, and you won't get hip replacement. They will maintain you on blood pressure medications, and manage your diabetes and your COPD so that you can continue to live. The most important thing they are supposed to do is to manage your pain and anxiety so that you can pass peacefully when the time comes.
Unlike doctors and regular medical people, their goal is not to cure, but to comfort and ease the dying. Good ones are a blessing.
I don't know what happens when someone can no longer eat. I think they will offer liquids, but will not "push" her to take them. I think they will try to keep her mouth comfortable with ice chips.
Someone here will correct all my errors, I am sure.