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I just heard that my LO, unprovoked, struck (with an object) a co-resident in her Memory Care facility, which then had to report the incident to the State (California). There was an earlier incident about 6 months ago, though provoked, and I don't believe that first one was reported. If this behavior continues, does anyone have experience with what could happen next? I can ask the MC facility (a very good place --so far), but wanted to hear from others, too. I fear she could be kicked out. If that happens, where could she go with that on her record?

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They likely will not kick her out just keep in good contact with them agree to spend more time at the facility if possible. Talk to them often. It’s not uncommon for confused residents to sometimes due this every incident must be reported and investigated by the state. The facility has an obligation to protect there residents the may keep them separated or under greater supervision they already have a plan in place to avoid any further incidents it’s required so just as I said keep in contact offer to buy her some things that may help her such as a mechanical animal etc. if they see you want to be part of the solution then they will be less likely to discharge her somewhere else. If they do they have to find her a safe placement. Don’t worry they are experts in these type of incidents. It will all be ok.
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Mother was in assisted living. If/when there was a problem like this the "resident" was first worked with to stop behavior. If it continued they were moved to a different section of the facility. A part of the facility where care was more carefully monitored. This was handled very discreetly and quietly. It was something that was discussed prior to mother living there and understood that it was a ruling for everyone's safety from the beginning.

I would at this point just keep asking questions. Do you know what fully happened? Is here behavior/attitude becoming more aggressive in general? Ask her doc to revaluate her status? Do meds need adjusting? Before any more time goes buy, get some answers. Good luck, dealing we our LO is both exhausting and frustrating at times - not to mention how it hurts inside when we cannot just "fix" them. Prayers and hugs for all
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Don’t ignore the situation (I am not saying you are.), but make sure you have a meeting with staff and resident physician regarding the situation and how to best address it. Otherwise, you could risk the facility asking you to relocate the patient.
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Has the facility tried to maybe switch you LO with another resident?  Does your LO not like this other person?  There are different stages of dementia and maybe your LO is going thru a nasty stage.  And why was NOT the first incident reported?  it should have been.......  wishing you luck
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LindseyB: While I do not know the legal ramifications of your LO striking a co-resident, imho, do you have an elder law attorney on retainer just in case? Perhaps your LO requires a medication check and also a check for a U,T.I.
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Johng123 Oh, how I agree with you.
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Oh how I feel for you! My "little" mother developed a temper and was asked to leave several places. Looking back no one ever tried distraction and redirection--usually they called me. A well trained staff should be able to handle such incidents and I hope you find just the right one. Checking meds is always important as is making sure there is nothing going on medically. Just know you are not alone.
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Johng123 Jul 2020
With Covid going on, you have no real idea what is going on in these MC facilities! The staff at most of these places just want to get rid of anyone causing a problem that causes them to work!
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Mine did same thing in May. He got kicked out after just being there five months, no notice. The administrator put a block on me so I couldn't even talk to her about what happened. (I still don't know the details--maybe just as well). I just moved him to another 5 star place and they did not care that he'd been thrown out. He didn't have problems there. He did pass away two weeks ago.

Getting thrown out happens all the time. Just do what you have to do to get her moved and don't sweat it. Well, I say this in retrospect.............because I kind of sweated it! But I've found out it's not unusual and not worth YOU getting your blood pressure up.

I wish you the best. I know it's TOUGH!!!!
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Johng123 Jul 2020
Call HCC and the ombudsman responsible for your area!! Report these facilities! They do not need to operate like this! If they cannot do the work, then they should not be in business!
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My father was in LTC suddenly became violent towards staff. They had him on a waiting list to go to a geriatric psyche until for evaluation and medication adjustments. Luckily while waiting, his physician tried Tegretol which helped tremendously and he didn’t have to go to the psyche unit. Talk to her doctor.
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Dvinsant123 Aug 2020
That’s the answer for sure communication and plans in place. Most good places can deal with these problems and the teams all work together to help both residents. That’s how it should be it’s heartbreaking that some just kick them out that shows a very weak team to start with. So I’m glad and you can rest assured you are dealing with professionals in your situation.
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There comes a stage in the disease where folks can become more aggressive. It happened to my husband, a very docile soul. The neurologist was reluctant to prescribe more meds as he said the MC should be using behavioral interventions (redirection, etc.) he ended up being sent to a geri psych unit (viaA911 call) for a meds adjustment. (Staff member commented on his hat and he slammed it on her head, but he was having more verbal outbursts before this.) The adjustment in meds did help with the aggression but as The stay progressed he lost the ability to walk and became incontinent. He had to go to a NH because of the level of care needed. However, he is happier and not agitated.
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One of the priorities in any facility for elders is to keep everyone safe, also to make sure there is a good fit for all residents. Look into a place that knows how to redirect the resident and has 24/7 watch on everything that goes on in a smaller setting.
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They can send her to psych hospital for medication adjustment..this is what SNF does when residents hit, bite, punch They are used to this behavior at nursing homes as most have dementia & get agitated & violent. My mother gets agitated & violent at times too. However, her punches are very weak now like taps ..,it’s controlled by medication. She’s been under care of neurologist for years. You can also take her to neurologist on your own. Hugs 🤗
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Care Homes?

Advantages of group home living
The lower price, higher staff-to-client ratio — for example, Florida limits its adult family care homes to five residents at most — and family-oriented setting distinguish this option. Other pluses:
• More personalized care and continuity of care is possible, unlike in larger assisted living communities. With fewer older adults, staff can more easily detect physical and emotional changes in residents.
• The staff-to-client ratio is often higher than in large assisted living complexes or skilled nursing.
• Meals are home cooked and can be customized.
• The homelike, smaller environment may be a better fit for those with dementia and could help any resident form friendships with fellow residents and staff more easily.
• The presence of other residents encourages socialization, and can lessen loneliness and enhance well-being.

https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2020/group-homes.html
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sis got agitated more and more with her last community-AL. She was frustrated more with herself, i believe, memory problems etc. and took out on others, staff. She had to move from out of state to my state due to increasing problems. I was hoping my being around more would help during the transition. Yes and no. I had to take her to loads of dr. appointments due to she was not doing when she was out of state. She wanted to do the fun stuff which we did some-lunch shopping, but not as much as she would have wanted. after a few months agitation came to a boiling point and she was taking it out on staff-they would not put up with this. A couple trips to ER, Emergency 24 hour care while we were figuring out what to do, was also making sis angry. Eventually did a psych med evaluation which changed her meds and eventually after 3 weeks she was calm but made decision to move to Nursing care as we would not have known for sure if med change was going to be enough to hold off the agitation. Sis did ok at the new place but care there was awful-inspite of a reasonable reputation. She lost weight, she was unclean, food was nasty, clothes missing and damaged. it took 5 months to find a place that would take her that has now been 3 moves in a year and taken its toll on sis.

She is probably in late stages-does not talk much now. Crying resumed after the move and sis was uncontrollable for days on end. Meds have been changed again-now has a horrible rash from one or both of the new drugs that she is taking.

It was difficult when sis was out of state-she cried and cried every time on the phone and I could not do anything to help her. I think the staff there was doing okay but when I asked about what they saw or did the reply was sis is doing fine-when i knew she wasn't.

As you are talking on a long distance move you have many factors to consider along with possible exposure to covid during a road trip in the RV. Are you worried about being able to care for dad on the road, anger, wanting to escape, bathroom issues, having enough of his meds to make the trip.

Current facility says if sis needed to go to the hospital for some reason, the return to facility would involve 2 week isolation-would probably be the same for your dad moving into a new facility. I would probably move, maybe a few months from now if covid is less??? of a concern, get settled, find out what the rules would be for dad at the new community admission-isolation etc. how long. visits with family. So you know what to expect. You will probably be more comfortable with dad close by-I have had it both ways and closer is better-not necessarily easier with the problems my sister has but at least she can see me, we talk, i think she knows i care even if she cant say so.
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My mom was on hospice when she was kicked out for her agitation and striking, biting, etc. Hospice recommended a care home that had available space. That placement actually worked out much better for mom. The care was better, the caregiver ratio to resident was lower, and the cost was lower.
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psuskind1 Jul 2020
Could you explain what a care home is because this sounds like an excellent suggestion as I have a similar problem with myFIL
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Have your loved one check Ed for a UTI. When my Father would have one he would strike out and get angry. Every time.
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Depending on the type of Memory Care license, state and federal laws need to be followed for discharge, including who is informed, the time period, proof and documentation that staff have tried other ways to prevent the behaviors, and finding a new facility for the resident before discharge.
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haileybug Jul 2020
agingagency

My loved one was in a Memory Care unit for a month. He was never given a 30 day notice.

My family member was discharged to the ER for evaluation. There was never an arrangement made for a new facility for him.
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In my thinking the "reporting to the State" is really a record in the residents' files. One report your LO hitting the victim, a report in the victims file they were hit. Family on both sides have to be called. If the victims family finds there was an incident and they were not informed they can then call the State. That incident better be recorded in both files and showing that family was notified.

Yes, you may want to discuss with LOs doctor a med to help calm her/him.
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In a reverse situation I feel my sister was intentionally pushed by a newer resident
(6 bed home) that has been hostile her entire 8 months there. Staff said "Pat fell";
however Pat uses a walker and discomfort complaints were odd. Dementia has her recall button frozen. I hope aggressive behavior vs victims draws more dialogue on this website. We are in Southern CA also.
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Your LO can get kicked out a Memory Care Unit for striking someone.

My LO was kicked out of a Memory Care Unit and was never accused of laying his hands on anyone. Just accused of behaviors.

With that on her record, it can be hard with placement.
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Have you tried to get ahead of this?  Can you discuss if LO needs meds or behave eval?  I am sorry
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