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I was a very healthy and fit 77 year old and good mentally till I fell over my dog and suffered multiple subdural hematomas 6 months ago. From what I've read, I will fail mentally soon, even though I am almost back to myself. I don't know where to look or what/who to see for advice or help any more. Scared. Thought I would die of old age. My former elder lawyer was strictly interested in writing an Estate Plan or will. Thank you friends

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Since you don't want to live with daughters, and cant afford in home care, maybe consider downsizing to an Independent/Assisted Living facility? One that will allow you to start off independently then transition to assisted as you need? I don't know your financial situation but it may be worth at least checking it out. Maybe you and your daughters can work something out where they can help pay for that?
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You may not likely fail soon, but it is always wise to think through what you want with your caregiving plans.

A will is only a start…whom do you want to be your poa for health and finances?

How much do you assume that family will provide free care in exchange for inheritance? What point do you now think that this would be unsustainable? As you are now, would you be willing to spend your funds to ensure your own care?
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Um. If you're otherwise fit and well AND you're almost fully recovered from your head injury six months on, what are you reading that makes you believe you will fail mentally soon? Was it the fall/trip that caused the head injury, or could it have been the other way about?

And how much further in the five year lookback have you got to go that will make a difference to your Medicaid eligibility?

But in any case it's wise to do your homework - we none of us know what's around the corner, or when we might need help whatever our age. Start with your local Area Agency on Aging for signposts to services and support groups near where you live.
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What on earth makes you think you will 'fail mentally soon'? You're almost back to your old self, so stop borrowing trouble and expecting to mentally fail, that's my suggestion!

My mother used to constantly INSIST she and dad would 'die together' at the exact same time which, in reality, made NO sense at all unless they were both in a fatal car accident or plane crash together. Which did not happen; dad died of a brain tumor in 2015 and mom went on for 7 years without him, and died in February of this year, basically of old age and heart issues.

My suggestion to you mirrors Natasana's: move into a senior community with a continuum of care feature now. Sell your home (if you have one) and get settled into a much smaller apartment where you can get care if/when you need it, and you won't have to rely on your daughters or on in-home caregivers at all. If/when you need Assisted Living, you can move into that level of care in the place you're at, easy peasy. Definitely check with your former elder care atty to see what s/he has to say on the matter.

Good luck to you!
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Going to your elder lawyer is good. Get your Will made out. But be aware, when Medicaid gets involved, that Will means nothing because all your assets need to be spent before your care will be taken over by Medicaid. But, with a Will the State does not get involved and determines who inherits.

Get your POAs set up. But this does not mean that the one holding those POAs, has to physically care for you. They can hire people to care for you or place you in a nice AL, MC or LTC. Its a tool to help make things go smoother.

Why former Elder Lawyer. He is the best person to help you.

Have you given your daughters large amounts of money. If so, that will have some impact on receiving Medicaid within the 5 year look back.
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Hoover, your husband has died, hasn’t he? I know you posted in the past (2019-2021) on your in-home caregiving for him. I’m kinda wondering if some of your Medicaid financial accountability concerns / fears really are not warranted…. that you are overwhelmed between still dealing with bereavement and then living alone & adjusting after years of 24/7 on call caregiving for him and then taking really bad fall which has you scared & aptly worried for your own future.

Anyways I’m going to approach this from a different angle….., so what was done / sold / transferred that now has you worried on “lookback”?
AND
is it something(s) done when hubs still alive?
And/ OR
is your worry on actions done on assets of your late hubs & distributed to heirs?

The “lookback” aspect on LTC Medicaid does exist. If it’s a long ago became a widow or widower, then caseworker is going to want documentation as to why you are now basically impoverished (tend to be with no more than $2K in nonexempt assets for an individual application) and “at need” financially & medically for LTC Medicaid to pay for the room&board part of a NH stay. It pretty straightforward but cumbersome banking & property details. As a long ago widow, you will have years if not decades of your & yours alone financials. (My dad died in the 1980ks, mom was a widow for decades but it took abt 4 years for the probate atty to wind thru their community stuff, and mom did not at the time ever have LTC Medicaid or living in a facility on her radar; would have been crazy complicated if it was in that 4 years.)

But for a recent widow, this is going to be way, WAY, more complicated as the time he was still alive he was still the owner of his % of community property or 100% of assets purely in his name. Even if that time overlaps into your own personal 5 yr lookback period. If he gave things to others, that’s on him. Not you. If his will had xyz going to your daughters and abc to 2 grandkids, that’s a distribution of his assets not yours. If he left 25K to Knights if Columbus as per his will, it’s not your “gifting” for the lookback.

If it’s things like this that has you fretting abt the lookback, imho, you have to, HAVE TO, find an atty who has expertise with LTC Medicaid apps and Illinois probate laws. Maybe a law practice that does estate law and probate work. It’s kinda like working thru on LTC Medicaid NH applications on delineating a community spouse income & assets from a NH spouses income, assets and impoverishment but has probate entering in. Not ever a DIY to wade thru.

If that old estate attorney is shying away from dealing with this, it’s good you know that. Most estate atty are all about asset protection and imo clueless on Medicaid as Medicaid is for poor folk and the poorest do not ever have estate worries. The old atty needs to give you a referral to attorneys who do have Medicaid expertise. Your in Chicago area, there will be lots.

Most subdural damage resolves itself over time. What you posted is very clear and concise. You said your almost back to your old self now at 6 months post fall. What are you thinking is going to need to happen in a yr or 3 years from now? and why? My Mil had bad falls with hematomas that overtime resolved themselves…. It was her hip break that really determined the reason for NH & at need for 24/7 oversight.
Spring 2027 is five years from now. Could work out!
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If you will ‘fail the 5 year look-back period’ for Medicaid, you probably gave your money to your daughters. You don’t want to live with them, but you need to talk it through with them. If possible, your daughters should pay the care bill until the 5 years are up. Not what any of you expected, but you are not to blame. If daughters used the money to pay off a mortgage, they may be looking at a re-mortgage now. Can you let us know how you get on with this? The circumstances are unusual.
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