My mother in law is terminally ill, and she appointed her "was going to be ed" to be the power of attorney while she was heavily sedated. He is trying to stop her family members from visiting, and stop her son from staying in the hospital next to her! Can he do this???
Good luck. You will be in my prayers. :)
So, I don't know if it varies from state-to-state, but I would check on the laws of your state and try to look into this.I think you should contact a lawyer. Someone above mentioned that she might not have been capable to sign. That's just one issue. Whether or not she was capable of signing, the lawyer should be able to get a determination on whether the POA can keep the family away.
Also, since rights vary from state-to-state, my POA rights probably differ slightly, anyway, as different states have different interpretations of our rights. So, don't take what any of us say here as the answer, but get an attorney in your own state to investigate this and, if applicable, to stand up for the rights of the family.
If you can manage it I would try to visit at the same time as the POA is visiting & with setting it up in advance.
Then go see a lawyer and ask for a "show cause" as to why you can't see her.
Scott A. S. - Eldercare attorney
However, while I didn't have a chain around Mom's neck dragging her in, I'm not sure they can really tell whether she was being forced to sign or not. How do they know I didn't tell her a story about doing something bad to her if she acted out, for an example? If a person is scared, I think there's a good possibility they'll sign out of fear. Also, notaries to my knowledge don't perform a competency test -- that's not even really possible for them and sounds complicated, too. So, just because it's notarized doesn't mean the person signing is competent.
Don't assume you can't do anything about this or to challenge it if you think it is worth challenging. Notaries are fallible as is the notarization process.
My step-dad was the smart one. He knew that his son would probably act that way at his death. He did a will on his own to protect my mom. The son has access to nothing.
Prior to getting ill, my step-dad would not allow me to call his son or grandchildren that had not contacted him in over 5 years. I even had his doctor's to ask him and he said no, he did not want his son notified. He also told me not to even call them when he passed away and I was not to give them anything. I should have honored his wishes, but I couldn't imagine as a child not knowing that your parent is seriously ill or dying. I called to let the son know that his dad was dying and it took him hours to return the phone call. He actually called about a minute after his dad passed.
At the cemetery the grandson's caught me in a moment of weakness. They asked to come to their grandfather's house to see where they had played when growing up. I allowed them to do so and they were like vultures asking and taking things out of the house.
My step-dad was wise enough to protect my mom and himself prior to getting ill. I was my step-dad's DPOA and currently my mom's DPOA. I'm also the Executor of his Estate and I'm also Executor for my mom. I've had all the locks changed on their home, put alerts on their accounts and notified the AL that under no circumstances are the son or his family to have any contact with my mom. The attorney and the doctors recommended this. My mom has dementia and she still remembers how the son did them and still gets very upset.
My mom has 5 children that love her very much and we are all in agreement that we will fight for our mom and make sure that her best interest is taken care of. If we manage my mom's money she may have enough money to last 3 years in AL. She is 89. I was told that prior to being eligible for assistance that if money is needed in the next 4 years that she would be required to do a spend down until all the money the son took was used or either the son would need to return the money. That $100,000 has been long gone. I don't see how any child or decent person could steal or take advantage of their own parents.
I'm saying this because everyone's circumstances are different. If I was being kept from my mom for selfish reasons, you bet I would be putting up a fight.
All I mean is that I agree with you: everyone's circumstances are different, and so are their motives. Sometimes we can't even begin to guess what they are.
What I've found is that the memory care & assisted living staff will not prevent family members from coming in to visit.
I had a really difficult time in getting them to agree to call the police if they tried to take my step-mom for a "trip".
I wish it was so. My 90 y/o mid stage dementia who is dependent on others was taken on a 5 day road trip, missing medicine, took her 3 weeks to regain most of her strength. After that I got the facility to agree to call 911 if someone else was to try to take her out.
Geez!! This stuff is not easy.
FedUpNow, how were you barred, if you don't me asking. Who enforced you not visiting. Who told you, you could not visit?
Sorry, but this is in such contrast to what I've come up against in 2 (Texas & Oregon) states & 3 facilities.
Sam7194, same questions?
I sincerely hope you all find helpful answers.
My Step mom, just broke her hip, she is in a convalescent hospital & the crazy niece is out of the country, but she's promised me she will come & set things right! & I'm the POS of medical & legal & have been caretaking from afar & moved her in August to improve her care.
This stuff is starting to make me crazy!!!!
Take care all, this too will pass
My biggest thing right now is an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. And putting things in the state rule obviously isn't effective. I think there needs to be more of a watchdog group preventing problems from going so far that there even needs to be an on site investigation when the patient is already at a hospital or at another facility.
Although my dad is pretty institutionalized to be able to care for at home I wish I had never facilitated both my parents when I did. If I had it to do over again I would not have facilitated them knowing how broken the system is.