I posted about two months ago about my MIL moving in with us. There’s a whole backstory in that post, about how she lied to us about her income and is now refusing to do anything and how she was supposed to be a “roommate” paying her own way but she deceived us into totally supporting her (she kicks in $400 a month towards our $2200 rent, but in return we must pay her storage, car insurance, medications, and all her day to day expenses because she has no money left).
We are buying all the groceries and she eats A LOT for a tiny 78-year-old. We were a family of 3 and everything seems packaged for 3 so it’s always worked out, but now I have to buy TWO packs of chicken, cook TWO pounds of pasta, etc. She wants to be waited on, she eats all the snacks I buy for our 9-year-old’s lunch, I can’t deal anymore. On weekends, we like to order in, and she just takes it as a given that we will order her food too, when she’s perfectly capable of making herself a sandwich. I never imagined any of this.... there’s no “us” anymore (my husband, daughter and I), she has to be included in EVERYTHING.
My husband is working 10 hour shifts 7 days a week to support her... we are a young family saddled with student loans and medical debt, and I’m growing extremely resentful. She has decimated our standard of living and we never agreed to this, but what choice do we have now? She lied and told us her income was twice what it actually is, and we agreed to have her live with us because we were moving to a new state and felt bad leaving her behind with no other family.... but we NEVER agreed to support her. How do I confront this? My husband and I are miserable. She’s even pulling our child into it over and over (example: I gave her $75 for the week so she didn’t have to keep asking for gas money, etc; but the same night, I stopped to grab dinner and brought her back a small meal.... she later asked my 9 year old for half her biscuit because she told her “You’re mom just got me one piece of chicken... she knew I hadn’t eaten lunch and I was hungry!” She could’ve bought her own food with the money I gave her... she’s so out of line and I feel like I’m going to blow up.
I would not be paying for her gas or car insurance. If she can't afford the car, sell it. There is senior transportation.
Perhaps you could research subsidized senior housing in your city to see if MIL would qualify. (Depending on where you live, the waiting time for an available apartment may be quite lengthy, so look into nearby towns, too.) Another option would be to look for a room for her to rent -- Craigslist is one place to get a feel for the availability/cost of rentals in your area.