I try deflecting and say I'll talk to them - but I get 20-25 calls a day complaining to me about staff stealing jewelry, food, clothes, etc. I usually find things hidden in her room but its becoming constant and exhausting.
The only thing that finally helped my Mom with her UTIs was giving her a low dose antibiotic everyday. The doctor should be able to help you find a solution as it is different with every body.
Yes, try to limit the amount of phone calls that you're getting, that's what I have had to do. I'm hated for it too. Your mom is going through the exact same thing that mine is. It will wear on you, trust me. I'm sorry, I know this is super tough. We just have to protect our own sanity.
UTIs are also caused by not being able to void completely. It has been suggested here to help with that, have the person lean forward to help. Also, have her sit a little longer. As we women age out bladder tends to drop making it harder to void.
I agree that the first course of action is to pursue diagnosing and curing her current UTI. Once she is clear you can purchase D-Mannose on amazon but you will need to have her medical team to give it to her faithfully every day. It helped my MIL a great deal -- didn't stop them 100% but cut the occurrences down by more than half. UTIs in elderly women have more to do with changes in physiology than about hygiene or the amount of liquids she drinks. An infection can create dementia-like confusion and behavior changes which can be addressed with antibiotics and she should return to an improved pre-infection cognitive state.
I also agree that you should not answer all those calls -- there is no point since answering them and talking to her is not remembered, it is unfruitful. Also, if she is using a personal phone book to call people I would remove that for the time being as she may be calling other people telling them inappropriate things at inappropriate times of the day and night, as my MIL was doing. Or make sure that the only number in her phone is yours (for now).
This Sunday while I was at a dinner party I got a text from a relative saying that she was sorry to hear "about Donna" and do I have more details about "what happened" (Donna is a recently discovered half-sister of mine who lives several states away and we were just getting to know each other). As it turns out, a very elderly mutual Aunt of ours was calling and telling people she read about Donna's death in the papers. None of this was true and it was surely traumatizing to me at the moment. I can give more examples, like when my MIL was calling her long-time friend in Hawaii (a far different time zone) and waking her at all hours. With short-term memory impairment, telling my MIL to not call her didn't work so we had to take her phone book away, which made us so sad. I wish you success in helping your mom get back to her best health.
Do you feel you must take the calls? I would limit the number of calls I would accept. Are you the only person she is calling? Could you reduce the number of items she has in her space so that it is easier for her to find things? This number of calls sounds very stressful for both of you. I think I’d try to get a camera installed to see what is going on.
Ask her doctor if there is a medication she can take.
The UTIs...has she been in the hospitals on IV for them? If it hasn't been done before, the next time she has a UTI have a culture done. Drs usually give broad spectrum antibiotics hoping they clear up. With a culture you know exactly what bacteria is causing the problem so the correct antibiotic will be given. My Mom was given cranberry tablets and a probiotic everyday to help with her UTIs. The last year she was alive, she had no UTI's. A couple of members swear by D-Mannose to help with UTIs
I also agree that you should not answer all those calls -- there is no point since answering them and talking to her is not remembered, it is unfruitful. Also, if she is using a personal phone book to call people I would remove that for the time being as she may be calling other people telling them inappropriate things at inappropriate times of the day and night, as my MIL was doing. Or make sure that the only number in her phone is yours (for now).
This Sunday while I was at a dinner party I got a text from a relative saying that she was sorry to hear "about Donna" and do I have more details about "what happened" (Donna is a recently discovered half-sister of mine who lives several states away and we were just getting to know each other). As it turns out, a very elderly mutual Aunt of ours was calling and telling people she read about Donna's death in the papers. None of this was true and it was surely traumatizing to me at the moment. I can give more examples, like when my MIL was calling her long-time friend in Hawaii (a far different time zone) and waking her at all hours. With short-term memory impairment, telling my MIL to not call her didn't work so we had to take her phone book away, which made us so sad. I wish you success in helping your mom get back to her best health.
Could you reduce the number of items she has in her space so that it is easier for her to find things?
This number of calls sounds very stressful for both of you.
I think I’d try to get a camera installed to see what is going on.
The UTIs...has she been in the hospitals on IV for them? If it hasn't been done before, the next time she has a UTI have a culture done. Drs usually give broad spectrum antibiotics hoping they clear up. With a culture you know exactly what bacteria is causing the problem so the correct antibiotic will be given. My Mom was given cranberry tablets and a probiotic everyday to help with her UTIs. The last year she was alive, she had no UTI's. A couple of members swear by D-Mannose to help with UTIs