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If this doesn't work out, what are my options? I told her this needs to work to prevent the nursing home option but in the end you can't force a person to accept an aide or go to a nursing home. Even though she has Alzheimer's legally unless she's declared incompetent she still has a say,

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This is why I find those commercials about visiting angels so funny because most of the time the elder is awful to their caregiver/helper. Tell mom that it's either caregivers in her home or a nursing home. Those are her two choices. If moms behavior makes it so her caregivers quit you will have to call APS about a vulnerable elder and let them take care of placing her in a facility and let the state take guardianship over her. Unless you want to be her 24/7 caregiver (I hope you don't)
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Reply to sp196902
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firsttimer1, my Mom was the same way toward having caregivers. Depending on your Mom's age, if she is 80's-90's year old I believe many women felt threatened by having another woman in HER house, HER kitchen, doing HER laundry, etc.


To my Mom, it was like she was being replaced by someone decades younger. No way was anyone going to take over "her job" taking care of the house and taking care of my Dad.


Within 3 days that was the end of the caregiving. I called the Agency and told them the situation, they understood. Then I just let nature take its course. Mom had one fall too many and her brain said she could walk, but she no longer could. She was moved from the hospital to a nursing home.


Since I was a senior citizen myself, no way could I take care of two homes and still work full-time. I called back the caregivers and they took excellent care of my Dad for almost a year.
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Reply to freqflyer
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firsttimer1 Jul 14, 2024
83 in between stage 5 &6 Alzheimers.
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If you have POA, mother has no say about being placed in a Skilled Nursing facility. And if you don't, I'm sure she'll be declared incompetent at some point when the AD gets advanced enough. Play nice with your caregivers mother, or your choices will become very limited.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Talk to her doctor about signing paperwork to get her into MC which is a locked facility. First go visit places on your own and obtain the documents that the doctor will need. Bring her to an appointment and do not forget to ask for the TB test which facilities need for admission. The MC staff will let you know what kind of a fib you will tell her on moving day. Usually it is a lunch. You sneek out while she is unaware.
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