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My Mom has been with a personal trainer for years now. She always says it's expensive but for her it is worth it. She is totally enamored with the man and thinks he is her best friend. Three weeks ago I had a meeting with him to see if he could give me tips for chronic neck and shoulder pain. He wanted me to sign a package contract which was never my intent as the gym is an hour away. I said I would think about it. I asked my Mom later what the man charges. She said she was making $1000 per month for the first six months and then she would be paid up for the year. (She goes to the gym 3 times a week but only works with him 2 times a week for an hour but I think several minutes of that she is on the treadmill. Gym fees are on top of his fee and are $29.00 a month that she pays separately.)
I talked to the trainer, Derrick P., again and asked him what he charges and that I couldn't afford $6,000 like my mom. He said that was for a two year contract and that my Mom gets a great rate because of the package. Then he added that he would charge me $40 an hour.
I was very troubled by her having to pay for the entire two years the first six months of the first year. Anything could happen in two years. I don't understand why he cannot just be paid 2016 when it get here but he will not respond.
My Mom has no money to go to the dentist and quibbles about every $5 she thinks she has been over charged yet this guy can demand anything.
She keeps maintaining that the contract is only for a year. If you take the rate he would give me of $40 for 52 weeks that adds up to $4160. So she would not be getting a deal; but rather she is getting touched.
I looked up is credentials to NASM (a sport medicine org) and he is not certified as he claims on his website. He also claims an APEX certification but so far I can't find is on the lists of five other organization. There are more organizations. I could spend the time and try to find them all but I will never know when I have searched all of them. Again the gym or the trainer have agreed to send me his credentials.
Tension between my Mom and I have hit a fever pitch. She has accused me of doing this because I am afraid I might not get my money. I am in total disbelief that she trusts this guy more than me. Before this she was all for giving me power of attorney but I don't think so now. I am emotional about her comment and do not wish to talk to her at this point. I have spent hours trying to explain why this is unethical or at least fishy.
Another detail is that he insisted that she give him six post dated checks. I don't get that because if she fails to pay he can just stop training her and he will not have an out of pocket cost. Yet if she breaks a hip or heads to Jamaica her loss would be very difficult to recoup.
I have contacted the bank and of course they couldn't do anything. I called the police to see if they could just check out is credentials but they won't. I didn't think they would but gave it a try.Trainer is not responding requests for contract copies The gym and the trainer are well aware how upset I am and their failure to cooperate makes my anxiety level go up. So the longer this goes the more angry I get.
What should I do and can you help me?
Teri B.

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No, this isn't about going to the gym. It is about elder abuse. What an ass, may he get his reward. All you can do is try to get some control of your mother's finances and get her away from this predator. This is why, and I am talking to all of you seniors, including me, need to have someone we can trust to protect us from these type of people when we get old and befuddled.

Sorry but being a Florida resident, I have seen far too much of this. And I,had this stuff,happen to my MIL but she had good kids who protected her thank goodness.
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Can you report this to your state Attorney General? Somehow sounds like a blend between fraud and preying on vulnerable adult.
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Things have calmed down a little bit. My brother did get through to her that I am not the enemy, I think. Well at least until my mom sees the trainer again and gets a dose of what she sees as his devotion to her when in reality he is precisely the opposite. She is now feeling torn between the trainer and me so at least now I am on equal footing with the trainer in her mind. I think she is starting to see that the contract or the agreement she made was too hastily done. Now she is blaming herself for all the mess. I just keep trying to bring it around that she has not done a thing wrong and everyone is susceptible to deceptions. Our family dynamic has been based on guilt for as long as I can remember so all of us turn to guilt when we don't know what to do. It helps that I totally get her guilt and can dispel that notion without all the emotions of betrayal I felt from her. Most people I think initially fight to be right when something comes at them from out of the blue. I don't. I just go right for "why is the world against me" emotion which doesn't do me any good that's for sure. This situation is something brand spanking new for her and I. Do you think our problem is common as people get older or is it just a sign of how badly our family in particular communicate? If my mom thinks about she knows that I have never worried about how she spends her money and if anything I have encouraged her to enjoy her life and not be so miserly. On the other hand she can't go buying a loaf of bread for $50. The problem here was complicated by her having no idea what personal trainers charge so she had nothing to compare what he was charging. She also has never signed a contract like that. I got past this being about me from last week. I think the blog helped to reinforce that I was doing the right thing, but I still have to admit that my Mom thinking I am out for her money will be a wound that is going to take some time to heal. My dumping a big dose of guilt on her will not help the situation. Long story short, I think I may get her to do the power of attorney with both my brother and my name on it for now. She knows in her heart that we are looking out for her but last week that was not the case. Thanks for the advice. I never ever thought that any one would take advantage of my Mom so I was not prepared for the fight. Who knows in the end maybe we will be closer in a few months after she begins to see the reality like your MIL. Fingers crossed.
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Teribarton, thanks for the update. There is a lot of trial and error when it comes to dealing with our parents and hoping they don't get tangled up in some financial deal. Your Mom may or may not have learned from this as each case will start out different but with the same end result.

I know I hold my breath whenever Dad tells me about this phone call or that phone call. He knows not to give out any credit card numbers or his social security number. I am keeping my fingers crossed that he keeps it that way for many more years.
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I am a NASM and ACE certified trainer of over 15 years. I imagine the trainer is an independent contractor for the gym meaning he pays a monthly fee to train there (some gyms charge in excess of $1000k per month but most are in the $500 range). He must carry his own insurance and pay his own taxes. $40/hour is not unreasonable for just a couple of visits. I agree with an earlier comment that IF your Mom is staying active, enjoying the attention and conversation of this person, AND is being safely monitored it may be worth leaving the issue alone. On the other hand, I would report him to the BBB as he is misrepresenting himself with qualifications or certifications. Ask your MoM if she is periodically asked to update her health profile for him and how he handles any health issues. Does he refer her to seek medical help or does he try to "fix" her sore joints/muscles or does he just recommend she take the week off? This answer could clue you into if he is really looking out for her from a fitness standpoint. I agree that you and your siblings should be working towards POA health directives and financial POA for future issues that are bound to come up.
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I disagree with the $500 a month because this town has a 7000 population quite isolated as far as seniors driving an hour. No one in this town makes big bucks with only a few exceptions. If he waned the big bucks why not live in a town with a bigger population base. When I have visited with people in this town they are blown away by the price. If I thought he was charging everyone the $500 a month I might look at this a little differently but I could place a bet that he is charging my Mom more. But let's for argument sake say you are exactly right. Should he not have a price list? Should he be making her pay a $1000 a month for six months? My mom finally got the courage to ask him for the contract (which I haven't seen) and her comment is he was thinking the $6000 was for a year and a half. With the contract in front of him; he is still guessing for how long the contract lasts. I have noticed this before with him. He is kind of loosy goosy with how he does this and she just believes whatever he tells her. I have been asking him for well over a month now by text and email to explain where I could find his credentials and please explain why he has her paying a $1000 a month for six months. I forgot to mention that he specifically told me that the $6000 was for two years. I will know more when I look at the contract which my mom is sending me. I begged him to just let my broth and I hash this out about the contract so she would not feel so pulled apart He tole her he hasn't responded because of privacy issues. Wouldn't you at least explain to the family what you just did in a couple of paragraphs? I don't happen to believe that the privacy issue pertains to this situation. The trainer could tell me his regular policies, provide me with a price list, and his credentials, and assure me that he has her best interests in mind without privacy even coming into play. I also read about personal trainers ethics regarding policy (I don't know if the ethics were universally advised or not) is only in relation to her medical records. One of the ethics rules says to work closely with family members so that the entire health of their client both mentally and physically can be achieved. And mentally this thing is tearing up our family. I wish I could just leave it alone. I worked for the Prosecuting Attorney's office for 30 years. I have seen way too many times when strife is caused by the criminal mind with the family. They convince the senior that only they have the best interest of their client and then they steal all their money. I may wish I would have followed your advice but in my gut something is telling me that something just isn't right. The POA issue will only flame the fire at this point. Until now she has always trust me and all of a sudden I am the enemy. She already feels like we are trying to control her spending. Once this is hashed out; I think she will voluntarily sign over POA which would be a much better situation. What was your location when you were charging $500 a month? Please let me know where I am going wrong here if you something else that you haven't already explained. I appreciate your time and comments. Thanks
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Teri, the way I look at it, if your Mom enjoys going to the gym, it would be in her best interest to have a personal trainer helping her while she is there, the membership and personal trainer contract fees are far less expensive than her injuring herself while on the machines.

But I do understand your concern regarding the contracts which should be straight forward and easy to understand, which it doesn't sound that way. Sounds like she is paying more for friendship and all the attention, then for what she is gaining from the program. From what I have heard from one of my trainers that I had hired, new trainers get close to minimum wage with the bulk of the contract going to the gym. Experienced trainers get more. Back then the trainers were independent contractors.... don't know if that is still the same today, or if the trainers are now "employees".

You Mom probably isn't agreeable about changing gyms where she could hire a new personal trainer. When I was a gym rat, I usually had a trainer by my side but it was always a woman trainer, for me we could talk about women issues, such as menopause without feeling embarrassed.
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Awesome news!!! You are a wonderful daughter and it sounds as if you have a very good brother...shower her with love!
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No. Meaning he has to pay the gym that amount in order to be a trainer there.
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Teribarton- i was not CHARGING $500/ month, I was BEING charged $500-1500/ month in order to work as an independent personal trainer to have access to the gym and it's equipment. This rate is very common both in Alaska and north Houston, TX. An ethically correct Trainer should have a contract in which clearly specifies all details of sale meaning how many sessions, duration of session, expiration of session, if either party should break the contract, etc. Lack of a contract is very questionable. If you get information on this or another Trainer, be sure to ask for copies of his certifcation cards ( including CPR AED and first Aid). In addition you want to see that the Trainer has Liability Insurance whether thru the gym or privately ( preferably both). They can also show you a card or copy of the insurance certificate. Personally, if I were in this situation, I would get the best information out of your Mom on this Trainer for your records and then promise you will stay off the topic in exchange for her getting POA's signed so you and your siblings can "see" what is going on with her finances and intercept and more questionable payments. This could be the tip of the iceberg into maybe more questionable business ventures she is involved in which are not in her best interest. Best of luck!
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