My mother lives on her own a few states away and has been increasingly shaky on her feet for a few years. She walks often with a cane, sometimes a walker, sometimes not and grabbing on to things - all very inconsistently. She has fallen a number of times and either has been able to get up by pulling on things or calls a relative to help her get up. She refuses to go to the doctor after these falls or have any assessment of her mobility done. So far she's apparently got really good bones because no breaks yet. But one day there will be - it is inevitable. She will not listen to me AT ALL. I have literally begged her to discuss this with her doctor and get physical therapy - all I got was personally attacked, she thought of the most painful things to say to me. What can I do?
If she goes to the doctor for routine check ups due to another condition or meds, you could call or write her doctor and inform them of what has been going on.
I know it must be difficult being a distant caregiver, believe me it really isn't easier being close by. My Mother seems to get more hard headed the older she gets and has esp has to what the doctor will or will not be able to do...so why bother going..lol.
Good luck and God bless!
Unfortunately, when they are this stubborn, there really is not much you can do. They are going to do what they want and if they break something; at least you know you had tried to help that not happen. Most likely, physical therapy would probably help quite a bit. It baffles me why they can be so stubborn, especially when they have to rely on other people to come over and help them get up. God helps those who help themselves - old Irish expression - my grandmother used this - she was from Ireland - did what she was told; and never ever fell, even at age of 93 when she passed away. She was my role model. God bless and take care.
Re: the medical alert bracelets, if you do invest in one for her, be sure to get the kind that automatically alarms when the wearer falls. Too often I've seen cases of elderly people falling and either failing to push the button for help because they "didn't want to bother anyone", forgot what the bracelet was for, or god forbid, were unconscious after the fall and unable to press the button. They have bracelets that can sense a change in gravity when a person falls down and regardless of whether they remember to press for help, the change in gravity automatically signals for help.
It is very, very hard to watch a loved one make what we consider to be bad decisions, but all you can do is what she will accept from you.
Jeanne, I like the idea of a cell phone pouch she could wear, might make it a bit more secure than knocking about it a pocket. I'll float the idea! Thanks for the validation it is so hard to watch all this. Basically the only way she'll let me help her is to be there in person and do everything for her - without her having to ask - and she pretends I'm just doing stuff for her cause I want to not because she can't or needs it. Even if I were local to her we'd still have a huge problem.