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Mom passed this afternoon..my estranged brother came to make amends and spent several minutes alone with her last night , even though she seemed to be in a deep sleep and only marginally responsive...Her eyes opened briefly to look at him and whispered "love" and I know she was waiting for him before she could allow herself to pass . I spent this morning with her...breathing was very irregular and vitals slipping ...i played her favorite hymns on my i pad, held her hand and told her how much I loved her. God richly answered my prayers that not only I, but my brother, could forgive and move on to a place of love and away from the past . Mom finally got the right meds for her lifelong struggles with anxiety, bi polar and depression...It was like a light turned on and she blossomed into the mom I dreamt about having for 68 years.But she loved us and my dad the best she could..I know that now...
It breaks my heart that she never sought or accepted help..but I felt closer to her in the past 4 months than I have my entire life.....brings such happiness, but also such raw grief and heartbreak for losing her and not being with her when she passed..I was working on her eulogy and on way back and delayed by several minutes by traffic...Even though she was 92 and so ill... The lymphoma moved so fast, and it was a blessing that her Alzheimers softened that reality for her. I did not want to lose her on Mothers Day weekend ....but then realized that God gave us both the best gift of all..wings for mom to fly high and free....to her final Home and .to my dad, who she missed so much this,past year. And gave the gift of peace to me, that she is no longer afraid, and in pain and suffering. Happy Mothers Day....and God bless you all on your journeys,...you have lifted me up and have all been my angels during my darkest days. The pain and grief I am now feeling is so deep , and so raw, but it also reminds me of the depth of my love for her, despite all the harsh words and hurtful actions of the past. When she was still lucid on Wednesday, I left later in afternoon because she was so exhausted...and as always , told her I loved her, as she did me..but this time she called me back and told me "I love you more" and really looked at me again and said "I love you more, precious daughter." She knew.....This hurts so bad and I already miss her so much.

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Thank you all so very much for your beautiful and kind words ..I know God will dry my tears with time and that mom will always be with me....After she passed , we had very cloudy gray weather here all day.....I was driving home , and a single shaft of sunlight broke through the clouds and shone on my windshield.....I truly believe our loved ones let us know they are safe and happy in the next and eternal life .I have experienced that with each of my loved ones in different ways, after I said goodbye to them. Today will be tough but I also will celebrate the deep bond we had ..and will always carry her in my heart.
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Thinking of you today, Mother's Day, and wishing you peace as you grieve. I'm so glad to hear that your mother's last weeks went as well as they did. Glad, too, that your brother could come. While it doesn't make up for the years of struggle, it sounds as though the whole family at least found some peace and reconciliation at the end.
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I'm so sorry for your loss and your pain. Your mother left her earthly body but her everlasting soul will never die. She is with God and will be looking after you and waiting for you till you two meet again.

Please join a local grief support group to help you through the days ahead.
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My mom used to say that too "I love you more"

I'm happy you had those last happy months with her.

Godspeed to you.
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Oh, this is so beautiful. What a gift that you had that time together, with the miracle of meds on board.

Thanks for sharing, and I’m so sorry for your loss.
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A very moving tribute. I am close to turning 68 and my mother passed away 2 weeks ago at 92. She went a bit quicker at the end and I was not there. I had seen her 2 days before. I share so much of what you are experiencing. I offer my condolences and hope we both find more peace as time continues for us knowing the physical suffering is over.
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tygrlly1 May 2023
This is so rough....My deepest condolences to you also...Im sure today was super hard for you also ...everything seems so surreal and then until reality hits when you remember shes no longer here...I still have her Mothers Day gift and card which I didnt have a chance to give her..,...never dreamt that she would go from me taking her to bingo to a coma and then gone in 3 days ....beyond the shock, there is just deep pain and loss....im in the midst of funeral planning and trying to stay busy but already miss her so much ..I was visiting her every day for the past 3 months and still have to clean out her little AL room and not sure how I will get through that...hurts so deeply already ......I feel physically ill ..many people dont understand that it hurts as much to lose your mom whether shes 92 or 32... and its never long enough to have her.. Im joining a grief therapy group at our church tomorrow night ..my hubby tries...but is uncomfortable seeing me so heart broken.. Ive always been super independent and adept at hiding my vulnerable side...I feel like a scared kid right now....Please feel my hugs.
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Your post made me cry. What a true blessing you received in her final time here on earth.
I'm glad that both you and your brother were able to make peace with everything before it was too late.
God used this journey with your mom to heal both your hearts and that is a true gift. Perhaps the best Mother's Day gift ever!
May God bless you and keep you.
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What a moving tribute! My deepest condolences on your loss, dear tygrlly. I'm so glad your brother made it to moms bedside in the end. That's a relief. God bless you and give you Grace as you grieve this loss.
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I’m very sorry for your loss and hope that you and brother find peace at this difficult time.
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Tygr, I am so sorry for this loss but so glad that your brother made it to see her--that was your doing, I feel sure.

I hope you will stay with us here and remind future posters about the amazing changes that can be wrought sometimes with the right meds.
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