The hard part is over.
I'm matching you with one of our specialists who will be calling you in the next few minutes.
She's 'used' one this way for 20 years, She's 92.
It's a battle nobody will fight with her.
(Yes, we are all fully aware that there are NO beneficial vapors involved--she's just crazy.)
BTW--I have never heard of a single person doing a sleep study where they DIDN'T 'need' a CPAP. Not a single one.
If a large change occurs without the CPAP, and she isn't wearing it, it is worth discussing with MD, but I cannot imagine how you can keep the darn thing on all night and still get a bit of sleep. And argument? Nope. That REALLY lowers the Q2 sat for you both!
Check to be sure her model isn't. Check that she's using distilled water.
Truly, if this is her worst issue, you're both blessed.
Sometimes also just deferring to her to make her own decisions, with something like " you know best Mom" and then not saying anything else, works wonders....
Take care of yourself......
I truly don’t care if she uses it or not. I’m not convinced it makes any long term difference with her over all health or her longevity. perhaps that is why getting drawn into arguments is such a frustration for me. Yup. It’s my frustration that needs to be checked.
Thank you for the advice
For me, whenever I have to make a decision with major risks, because of my Christian faith I try to remember Psalm 139... especially verse 16 where it says our days were numbered before we were even born. I still don't take my decisions lightly but it relieves some of the pressure trusting my husband will still get every day he was ordained. I decided to try to make each of his days comfortable for him by relieving stress when possible while hoping for another ten years. I am blessed that he is still functioning quite well but am aware that with his heart issues he may be gone before tomorrow.
A friend who has spent the night with her recently said that now, although she says she’s using it, she has checked in the middle of the night and my mother has taken it off.
Simplify the topic first eg
How have you been sleeping Mom? Good? Ok, that's great. *leave it*
This machine with the mask is supposed to help with that. Would you like to try it?
There was no way in the world she'd have agreed to use one even before she had dementia.
She lived seven more years after that recommendation and never suffered for sleep nor did she have a stroke or whatever they're supposed to prevent.
Leave her alone.
If she is now finding that putting on a mask or nasal pillow and pushing the start button, then leave it alone or visit her at bedtime to start her up. She may still take it off at night
You can't care more about her sleep apnea than she does. If she asks for your help outright, fine. O/w, live what's left of your life as you see fit mom. At 94, she's earned that right.
Are you arguing because she has forgotten how to use it properly? Or because she spends too much time focused on it? Or that she thinks you don't know how it works (and she is now not using it properly)?
If you are fighting to have her use it: stop doing that.
If you are fighting because she spends too much time on focused on it: practice redirecting her attention with something positive, another activity or thing. Also, is she stops obsessing on the cpap she may just start obsessing about something else.
Only you know/care if you know how to use it/run it/clean it. You won't be able to convince her otherwise, as she probably has some level of dementia.
Pick your battles wisely. When my 93-yr old Mom starts ranting about politics and negative things at our dinner table, my husband starts looking up funny YouTube or Tiktok videos to show her. Works every time. We just don't respond to her rantings.
Also, please watch some Tippa Snow Videos on YouTube. She's an expert on dementia and caregiving and teaches people the strategies to have more peaceful and productive interactions with their LOs who have dementia.