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Mom will not agree to move much less admit to having dementia. I know she’s not taking her medicine correctly, she’s taking too much of her SS out of the bank each week and threatening to call the police on me if I try to interfere. I feel helpless. I monitor her checking account due to me being on it, thank goodness. But she says I need to stay out of her business or she will take me off of it. I just hope she’s not giving it to the aides who come in and clean. I feel I am shunning my responsibilities as a daughter. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you in advance.

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Who has POA? Are you a coowner on the account? If so, your signature would be needed to be removed.
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She does not have anyone as her power of attorney. I’m running into brick walls when I try to do so. Yes I did visit the bank and they told me I would have to sign. Thank goodness. I don’t write checks on her account till recently she won’t pay her rent. She thinks she has 3 months free rent. Now she thinks the manager forged her signature and wrote the check for drugs even though I showed her that I wrote it for rent. Thankyou for helping me. Thankyou for talking to me. I am alone in this.
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If you know who her doctor is you can write to them and detail the behaviors you see that are impacting your mother's life and we asked them to do an evaluation and consider a referral to a memory care clinic- or at least a geriatrician.

The doctor did a couple of tests in the office and prescribed Aricept and sent her on her way. It took us months to get the referral to the Memory Care clinic. I don't think most primary care doctors have specialities in geriatrics.

Most of the time, doctors say to the elderly "How is your memory?" and even if the elderly say "I'm having problems." they are very likely to say "We all forget things as we age. You are probably fine." You need to alert them to the problem.

If your mom doesn't have a primary care doctor or won't go to the doctor, then I think you have to wait until the situation would provoke a response from Adult Protective Services. Which is tough.
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