I have worked in the care field my whole life; from Infants to Elders. I have had nothing but rave reviews.
My mom was a mother who struggled to take care of any of her kids and I have let that go.
I brought her down for a visit to show her some beauty, laugh with her and give her a change of scenery. While here she was claiming I lie to her, I steal from her, and I am not worthy of the wage I earn because I don't do my job.
When I would try and rationalize her comments she would become more upset and say more hurtful things. I had to step away from the situation. Even when I would try and make up she was nasty.
What the hell should I do???
"I am caring for someone, living at home with alzheimer's / dementia, incontinence, mobility problems, and sleep disorder."
Because if it is, and she has Alzheimers/dementia, THIS is why she is accusing you of lying and stealing from her and saying all these nasty things. Because her brain isn't working properly anymore, and such behavior is typical, unfortunately.
If you have been working in the care field your whole life with rave reviews, then you should know about dementia and how it presents with elders who are diagnosed with it. Knowing and dealing with such things up close & personal are two different matters, however.
If your mom is traumatizing you with her nasty behavior, pack her up and send her back home. You tried to show her some beauty, laugh with her and give her a change of scenery. It didn't work. Now it's time to get back to your life, and for mom to get back to hers.
Hopefully she has help at home and doesn't live alone?
In any event, wishing you good luck ending this unpleasant visit with mom asap.
This doesn’t sound like a guest you should invite for another visit.
PeggySue is right. Step back. Help from a distance if you feel that is the right thing to do, but don’t subject yourself to verbal abuse.
Feel sorry for her and protect yourself from her.
Don't look for validation from her; that's what it sounds like you were doing.