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I've been showing her how to do it but she's not getting it. At night I can put on the DB, she will sleep for a few hours and then get up at 3 am when she wants to use the bathroom. I've been waking up at 3 am and taking off the DB so she can sit on the toilet.


But during the day, I'm at my job for 4 hours. When she uses the bathroom, she again forgets she has the DB on and is not able to get down it to her ankles. Even if she gets it off her, I worry that she will just throw it somewhere. My in-laws watch her while I work and I don't expect them to do all this. So how to handle the incontinence during these 4 hours? If she gets BM, she will want to sit on the toilet forgetting she has the DB on, try to take it off somehow and make a mess everywhere. I can have her use the toilet before I leave but how to handle unexpected emergencies in these 4 hours?


Should I give up practising putting on the DB on her?

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So sorry Weary but your Mom now needs help when she goes to the toilet. Someone needs to be there to help her. Her short-term memory is gone. She will no longer remember what you have tried to explain from one day to the next.
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I can't blame her for not being able to get them up and down easily. They're so springily elasticated, they can be a real challenge.

Are they the type that rip down the sides when you want to dispose of them? If they are, would she be able to do that? (sometimes they tear easily, and sometimes - when you're in a hurry, for example - they can be a complete pig and need two strong hands)

When you say she isn't getting it, what exactly is going wrong for her?
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wearynow Mar 2022
Countrymouse, yes, they rip at the sides but she is not able to rip it off because she has no idea that's she wearing them. I mean she's not able to take it off and sit on the potty even if Im in the bathroom with her. She seems to be very inflexible and not able to pull them down or push them up. She's not understanding that they are to be pulled down/up. She will sit on the potty wearing the DB if Im not constantly reminding her that those have to be pulled down. She's not understanding the idea of underwear...I guess her dementia clouding her brain...
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Thank you
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Weary, if your mom has dementia, I doubt that practicing is going to help.
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