She has gotten worse in the last two years. This year was particularly stressful because my father became ill and it has been a long recovery. He is finally doing much better, and thankfully he does not have dementia, but it is hard on him spending so much time with my mother. I go over every day for several hours, but it even gets to me. Has anyone out there experienced this situation? I love both my parents, but I don't even want to be around my mother most of the time and it makes me feel very guilty.
Yes, this is hard on Dad and it will come a time when it is necessary to place your mother for her and your Dad's welfare. She could become aggressive, combative and possibly hurt him. This is a difficult situation and I understand. Have a similar situation where it will become necessary to place my Mom, away from the love of her life, but she, quite frankly, probably will not remember. Thankfully my Mom is not ususally disagreeable, but does have her moments. Those are Xanax days.
Maybe Mom when she begins to agitated can just go to her opposite corner? Or call someone on the phone? Some way to get her thinking about something else when these things happen. Maybe she needs an iPod to listen to relaxing music all day?
A bad marriage, lifelong inappropriate behaviors, disrespect -- these are not going to be solved by therapy or a drug when dementia enters the picture. But since Mom was "always so sweet" I think it is worth a lot of effort to try getting her personality to surface. The right drugs can often help with that.