My 85 year-old mother has been not eating and drinking much for almost a year now. Most days now, she only eats one tiny meal and about 12 to 24 oz. of beverages. She will ONLY drink soda (that's not the problem, though). I've been doing ANYTHING for this woman to keep her strength up and I've been buying her whatever she asks for, which is usually takeout. She will NOT eat home cooked meals. She will throw it in the trash. I am a good cook, so it's not that (lol). She'll have nothing to do with supplements and all of that. Dr. told me to give her anything she wants to eat at this point, just to get calories. She's not in the "danger zone" yet -- she still has to lose another 30 - 40 pounds before she gets underweight, but here's the thing: She's always asking for takeout food that is only sold in large portions, and usually they're costly. She will only eat things like pizza from her favorite local eatery (they don't sell by the slice), or bbq ribs, rotisserie chicken, Chinese, fried seafood, etc. It's getting so that she either thinks she wants them and won't eat them at all, or she'll eat just a tiny portion and the rest will entirely go to waste -- so I end up eating all the leftovers and I'm gaining a ton! Not even food I like! I tallied it up for last month, and she ordered $189 worth of takeout food. I'm gaining all the weight that she's losing. Now I KNOW that I'm completely going CRAZY. No one in their right mind orders that much takeout in a month. But that's what I've been doing, so she'll eat SOMETHING! I've been told that this is common end-of-life behavior to have no hunger or thirst. Please be kind and don't make fun of me or insult me.
My main difficulty at the moment is finding eggs that are both fresh enough and tasty enough. Only once your own chickens have helped themselves to a balanced diet supplemented by earthworms, spiders, ants' eggs, and, less endearingly, your cornflowers, cabbage seedlings, gooseberries and on one traumatic occasion an unfortunate frog do you discover what eggs are really meant to taste like.
Have your tried going to a pizza place where you can get it by the slice and putting it in the box from her favorite place? She probably won't know the difference anyway if she only eats a bite
The time I used to spend on scratch ingredients, planning, cooking and clean-up.....I instead spent making sure mom's bills were paid and trying to make sense of her diminshed logic and hoarding and secrecy. Oh -- and making sure mom's fridge was full of food!
Just a long way of saying, you can't win with this stuff. And it only gets worse.
Can you "embrace" the take-out somehow? Perhaps make a conscious effort to spend less on groceries, to help offset the cost of the inevitable take-out meals? Then somehow use/freeze mom's leftovers to augment your meals? Maybe freeze some chicken/beef/veggies to add to your own CrockPot creation? Use mom's leftover potato wedges to make breakfast home-fries for yourself the next day? And such.
Hang in there. It s*cks to constantly worry about money and an ailing parent.....and feeling like your own health is taking a hit. Many on this forum can relate.
Try to squeeze in a quick walk once a day. YOU are worth it! It's so easy to lose ourselves in all this. The fresh air and momentum really helps the mind and body reset. (((hugs)))
While she was in IL (up to the age of 99) she ate very little except sweets, yogurt and ensure. In IL, when she did eat lunch it was the juice out of a cup of soup and 1/2 grilled cheese sandwich. She would order coffee and put 3 packet of sugar in it and drink maybe 1/4 of it. Truthfully, at the time (and when she was in AL and wasn't eating anything but the cookies and yogurt, etc I brought her) my sister and I were frustrated with her. We didn't think about the fact she barely could taste anything, had no taste buds left and sweets were the only thing she could receive any sensation from!
Isn't it horrible that when we get old we lose one of the greatest pleasures in life - the physical ability to enjoy food - in a country of bounty and variety! Bummer!
Maybe that is something the medical profession should be working on. So many elders die because they slowly starve themselves. Is it possible that if there was a way to prolong the ability to taste and enjoy food, their lives would be longer (and richer)?
We often thought that a good deal of Mom's dementia was due to brain starvation because she was so malnourished. (She did not have Alzheimers, and there seemed to be a direct correlation betweeen her mental decline and the decline in her nourishment.
It happens now and then to everyone, even younger folks. Just survive as best you can, and don't panic. Sometimes, helping yourself turns out better than asking for help, imo.
Keep trying everyone!
Veronica, perfect breakfast!
A lot of food addicts will get upset with me to read this. But here goes.
It's easier to get off of fast food if you clean your palate by abstaining. It takes a few days for the cravings to recede. Think of someway to stay away for a week or so and you will find out for yourself. Make a big pot of soup or beans. Add a salad. Fresh fruit and water. Tell your mom/wife you can't drive for a few days and stick with it. Expect some acting out. You'll feel yourself go into withdrawal as well. The taste for salt, sugar and bad fats is very addicting and is in everything you buy at most restaurants, not just take out places. Just try to get by one day at a time. Think of it as a cleanse. Then if you do decide to add fast food again, don't have it so often. Maybe once a week as a treat. Set a new standard for your household. You will feel better and save money. It's not to punish or deprive or extend life but to live within your means and the side benefit is you will feel better and have a higher quality of life. Add at least a multi vitamin. Dig deep. You can do it. Warn your enablers to not be bringing fast food over when they get the calls. Observe how much control the cravings have over your life. Then after about three or four days you'll notice you can think about it and it has lost power over you. Its a wonderful feeling to not be controlled by your cravings. It's hard at first but you'll be amazed how easy it is after a few days.
Perhaps we'll get them back now :)
So strange, because I understood that Safeway and Albertsons were wanting to merge, but had to close some stores to prevent a monopoly! Lol. What a corporate drama played out right before our eyes-so now 3 stores have merged!
Don't blink-did you see it happening? Ha ha ha.
Eat nothing that comes from a packet and only use human fuelled transport and you will see the pounds drop off and be healthier for it...
I am fairly certain he didn't mean eat sweets you find on the floor and get someone else to give you a piggy back!!!! And today I guess, given the information re additives (not that you can avoid them today when even a lot of fresh food comes from gm modification!) and the significance of exercise he had it just about right!
Eat less, Move more.
Did she mean B.M.?
Today, some test results came back negative for all sorts of things. However, I am obese. Overweight. A higher risk to get the bad things that I was tested for.
But there is no plaque in my arteries. Must be all those organic vegetables we were having delivered twice a month for a year.
Two things. Screen time. Sugar.
Three things then - add the notion that the little dears must have unfettered access to food and flavoured drinks at all times.
Four - and that it is child abuse to expect them to walk anywhere.
But screen time and sugar are the biggies. TURN OFF THE TV!!!