Mom sleeps most of the time -but is that for the best?
My mom is in her mid-70s, a life-long sufferer of poor mental health (bipolar), and a martyr to arthritis. She can barely move; she's had some bad falls and despite extensive physical therapy, avoids walking and movement in general. She lives in another state, in subsidized housing. Moving her here isn't practical; we live in a 3rd floor apartment and senior subsidized housing waitlists are eternal here. I've offered to hire someone to come in and help with housekeeping and laundry, but she always says no, or not yet. She doesn't want us to spend money on her because we're putting a child through college and recovering from some pretty difficult life events ourselves. She is on antidepressants, thyroid medication, blood pressure medication, and OTC pain medications. She is fond of her doctor, but doesn't wish to discuss her excessive sleeping with him 'yet.' So here's the question: given that she hasn't been happy in years, and given the fact that she is in constant, intransigent pain -- how interventionist should I be? She is (presumably) not in pain when she's sleeping. She is in pain when she's awake, both physically and psychologically. How wrong is it for me to be OK with her sleeping so much? I just want her to be safe and comfortable and at peace. Her torment is my torment.
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More to the point, for me, is that her mother has a GP she likes and (according to the profile) is also in the hands of what sounds like a capable Area Agency team. So she's well supported; and even if she says she doesn't want to talk to her doctor about the "excessive sleeping" this is a question her doctor will have in mind.
MBF, I wonder if you are just wishing you could "do something!"? But, like what?
Your mother has had extensive PT. It hasn't helped her. You have offered help with practical tasks but she has declined it; and since she is being (albeit loosely) monitored you can be reasonably confident that she must be coping adequately - possibly with help that she doesn't quite mentally register as help, such as meals on wheels or assistance from neighbours or the building supervisor. So what is it that you feel you should or might be doing or getting done that you haven't already ruled out?
It is very hard to be a remote caregiver, I know. You're kept so much in the dark. What about getting your mother on the waiting list for your area anyway and just seeing what happens?
I'm sorry to hear about your mom's condition. It is a tough situation. I use to think it was OK just to let my dad be but I realized it was a mistake. I know many patients don't want to ask their doctors or even challenge their doctors, but I am concerned now if a person sleeps too much.
Excessive sleeping could be a sign of depression. Side effects of medication. I know its hard to find the right balance, but I would try and talk to her doctor about it. Seek out a second and third opinion if necessary.
There's nothing wrong with a nap or two if they're brief, maybe sitting up in a recliner, but your mom has to get out of bed and get moving.
My husband was diagnosed with it a year ago, and in hindsight I realize He was excessively sleepy during the day for several years before the diagnosis. You may want to read a bit about LBD and then at least speak with her doctor.