I was arrested for theft of property. My mother with the help of my sister threw me out of her house. I was her full time caregiver and I have been falsely accused of stealing from her. My mother has early dementia and I was seeking professional help for her. My sister would not help me the entire time I was caring for my mother which was over a year. I did not have any help. I did everything myself. Now my sister wants to step in and criticize what I did. She and my mother were not even talking for the past six months. They are now close and have isolated me. This is very hurtful to me after I gave up my job and now I have no job or income. My teenage niece is in on this as well since I took my car back after she had two wrecks in a five day period. I have done so much for my family and this is how they repay me.
It sounds like a very unhealthy situation. First it was you and your mom, now it's sis and your mom. Unless the entire family goes into therapy I don't know what you can do. If you want to live a sane and healthy life, separate yourself from all of this. Take care of your responsibilities but don't become a party in this merry-go-round.
I would be hurt too but what can you do? Beg to be your mom's caregiver? Put yourself at the mercy of your sister (and niece)? You've done your part, you took good care of your mom. Maybe it's time to move on, get a job, and not be a part of family drama.
I know, easy for me to say. But what are your options?
Just because you were arrested, does not mean it will go to trial, charges can be dropped. A good lawyer may negotiate that.
Your profile states the primary ailment is depression. Hopefully you have a diagnosis of dementia to support your position. If you provided a letter of resignation to your prior employment were perhaps you mentioned the reason for resigning was to care for your mother, or if you have a boss willing to state you were gainfully employed and you resigned, that would add credibility to your story. If you can convince a good lawyer, you may get them interested in pro bono.
I do not know how it works in criminal court, but in civil court you countersue for legal expenses. I think in criminal, you follow with a civil suit for expenses....not sure. If mom is not cognitive, but sis figures out you are getting a good lawyer and that you will be going back at mom (her inheritance) for legal fees, and she knows the charges are bogus, she may get mom to drop rescind the affidavit.
I am not usually a big B, if someone falsely accused me and I was arrested, I would be turbo B. Augirl, it is time to go turbo, take care of the problem, and if this is truly a product of dementia, forgive your mom, but do not go back to caregiving.
Best of luck,
L
Coming from dysfunction myself, I can tell you nothing will change until everyone is willing to admit the problem and seek help. You will run around being hurt, they will make you crazier, and nothing will change. I speak from experience.
They have given you the gift of an out. How could you possibly want anything to do with these people.....ever. And when things get tough, as they probably will, and your sister comes around whining about you not helping, remind her of the "little incident" of being accused of theft. As I am going to remind my brother of my mother falsely claiming I wanted money from her and am not to be trusted.
Their chickens will come home to roost.