How do I deal with this? She gets irate when I won't kiss her on the mouth or sleep with her. It's super uncomfortable. I try telling her I'm her son, not her husband, but that just makes her more angry. She eventually gets distracted, but as this progresses and she does it more often, I'm looking at ways to deal with it.
help!!
I'm sure you already know this very well but I think it's worth saying anyway: you probably look and sound exactly like your father of thirty or forty years ago. She doesn't just think you're her husband. She is absolutely certain and convinced of it.
Do you have any photos of him around the age you are now?
I do resemble and sound like my dad. I recently went to her house to get some of her stuff and found a photo album from back when they were teenagers thru me graduating from high school. That really did the job distracting her and making her accept the truth. I also got some family pictures and hung them on the walls in her room. She's been good the last few days. When she's not like that, she's actually pretty chill. She broke her hip in July (the anesthesia from the surgery is what kicked off the dementia) and the surgery and following 4 months of therapy did little good, so she can't walk, so we don't have a wanderer. We put an alarm on her bed and a bedrail so she can't get up without us knowing and coming to help her.
I know it's not going to get easier and I really appreciate the input.
Do you resemble your mom's husband? Is he your dad, too?
Just brainstorming here...Maybe, use COVID excuse, and put on a mask, so she can't see your face well.
How about trying actively to distract her with something else? Oh, look ma, there's a big moon outside. Or, look at the big fire on TV, etc.
I hope you'll get more suggestions.