My mom and her girlfriend have been playing with toys and my mom had confided in me today that she has an infection down there. She doesn't know if it's from her girlfriend. I try to persuade her to see a doctor asap and to not be embarrassed because she's not the only one to feel embarrassed about that sort of thing. But she refuses saying that it will work itself out. But i told her infections don't just go away especially an STI or STD. But she says it's embarrassing to get it from a toy. But I try to reassure her but she won't listen to me and I'm afraid that she might let it get worse before she does ANYTHING. How can I get her to go get tested so she can get herself better.
As for embarrassment - well, there goes a woman who's paid no attention at all to the stories ER and STD clinic teams like to share about the items they've had to remove from body cavities, or the fabulous yarns that people spin about - for example - how they came to have genital warts in their ear. Tell your mother she has virtually no chance of being remarkable in this context. Sorry!
You're justified in having an opinion because she confided in you in the first place, but just say what you think and then leave it there. It's her body.
What I actually do think is important is the point that's come up about sexual health of aging people. We're going to have to get used to the fact that our aging generations now came from the permissive society (though I'm sure this OP's mother is far too young to remember the sixties), and they didn't get all respectable once they hit fifty, and it is no use to get squeamish about certain types of health problem just because of how they got it. Let alone automatically disbelieve someone who's asking.
I think I'd get her some yeast cream at the drugstore & have her use it first, as the infection can easily be yeast. If it doesn't get better, THEN get her to the doc or use the suggestions given to you here.
Good luck!
@Worrieddaught1, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable leaving the issue alone. If there is an infection, STD or not, it might need treatment, and it might not resolve on its own.
Is there any way you can periodically ask her w/o making her uncomfortable? I think STDs are infections that people prefer to think they don't have. There's still a lot of stigma about them.
I recall reading several decades ago of a well known woman, daughter of a famous, rich benefactor of arts, who contracted an STD from her husband. As I recall, she eventually died of it. I don't remember which disease it was.
There's also the issue, and I'll defer to the medical pros here, as to whether or not it can be spread through nonsexual contact.
Did your mother describe any symptoms that you could research, just to see if they're reflective of an STD?
I think cancer is another dreaded disease that people tend to avoid addressing, probably b/c it's just so overwhelming.
Actually if it were my Mum she and I would go together laughing all the way.
If a blood test is in order, then I would have a discrete conversation with her family doctor and ask to have the lab work done asap.
Additionally, Mum and her friend need to know how to properly clean the toys after use and her friend needs to know what has happened so she can protect herself too.
Get more specific symptoms. Best to consult with a medical person, and will need to be more specific about her symptoms. We all would benefit from being more open minded about sexual activity.
P.S. please forgive the reporting of your post...there have been (and still are) idiotic trolls who post inappropriate things here and waste people's time and disrespect this forum. The person was just being protective. So sorry that it's even a thing. thx!
Suggest to your mother that she go and have a chat with her friendly local pharmacist, by all means. The pharmacist might be confident that over the counter or pharmacy only treatments will fit the bill, if the symptoms really are that obvious-sounding; but if not your mother will be told to see her PCP, and maybe she'll listen to someone in a white coat.
There are different types of infections that require prescriptions. The pharmacist could relay this to her.
Don’t second guess and possibly waste time and money. The most practical thing to do along with the wisest is to just make a doctor appointment for testing.
If you look on the STD websites you will see Bacterial Vaginosis. It’s common and many people are affected at all ages. It can be spread woman to woman and by toys that are not cleaned after every usage.
https://www.everlywell.com/products/std-test-female/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=std_test_female_shopping&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_stds&gclid=CjwKCAiA9JbwBRAAEiwAnWa4Q0Fc-vcCHliMNKWe8DwMT_FDQPrFyvTCIvHaIqGXE1AndDh4rrIfmRoCOC8QAvD_BwE
CVS also makes an at home test you can purchase for $15.99:
https://www.cvs.com/shop/cvs-health-feminine-screening-kit-for-vaginal-infections-prodid-917719
And finally, here's what comes up when you Google "Vagisil screening test" :
https://www.google.com/search?q=vagisil+screening+test&rlz=1C1JRYI_enUS478US487&oq=vagisil+screening+test&aqs=chrome.0.0l8.7204j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
Obviously, there are MANY women who do not want to go to the doctor right away if they are worried about having an infection and would prefer to test at home alone.
Good luck!!
There are too many possibilities of what she might have, so the very best thing would be for them Both to be seen, even if they don't wish to see own their personal Dr's, they can always go as and be seen in a Walk in Clinic for the sake of anonymity if they are too embarrassed. It's silly really, as Drs see these things every day, and will act very professionally no matter the circumstances.
On a personal front, I remember back in about 1979, my then 85 year old Grandmother, who had immigrated to the U.S. was having a severe Dementia crisis and my parents had to have her transported to the ER. She was ultimately diagnosed (via a blood test) with Latent Stage Syphilis (she wasn't having any female issues, but having accute symptoms related to her Advanced Dementia), which she unknowingly had, and which had been left untreated for probably 50+ years or more (pre-WW2, pre-antibiotics). I remember that she was treated with a large injection of Penicillin, and that there was a huge possibility that part of her Dementia symptoms were from this long standing and untreated STD infection. I'm not saying that your Mom has anything like this, but that untreated diseases Can go on and become Very serious, if not dangerous if left untreated, as symptoms can disappear, but the danger can linger such as in Syphylis or Chlamydia. Crazy huh?