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My mother is 91. I sold my house to move in with her and care for her. She wants to pay me for caregiving by giving me the house. The original discussion was for me to live in it as long as I might want.
Not sure if this is the way to go. I am retiring from my job soon and recently inherited a little money so could technically pay off Moms mortgage. But could also invest the money and increase my monthly income.
I have POA.
She refuses hospital or any long term facility care.
There are 4 other siblings. They are supportive and want the house to go to me, if I want it.
I am just unsure if this should be by will or if it should be done now.

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I'm so happy that your siblings are supportive of this. What a breath of fresh air!

I would talk this over with an estate attorney. Even though your mother doesn't want to go to a nursing home, sometimes there is no choice. If a transfer is made you should do it now, but even then, if your mother's assets are spent down the house may still be liable. There are positives and negatives about the transfer, but if you pay off the mortgage and she goes on Medicaid there could be confusion over whose money the house represents. Legal advice is necessary in my mind so that you know you are protected.

This is a wonderful situation from the sound of it. You may also, after checking with an estate or elder law attorney about the house (because of potential Medicaid issues), want to talk with a fee only financial planner to see what strategy is the best for the use of your money.

Take care,
Carol
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Agree with Carol (of course!) that legal advice is needed on both fronts. I would add, never say never. OF course, my mother (our mother, my brothers and I agree about mom's care) that mom would NEVER go to a nursing home. It just wasn't imaginable to us a mere 3 years ago that she wouldn't be able to stay at home, maybe with some in-home care forever. (she was 88 at the time). First there was the increasing anxiety over EVERYTHING. Tried a lot of little fixes, but eventually, she needed to move to Independent Living ($4500 a month). Then she had a stroke and after 6 weeks in rehab, developed vascular dementia, had hallucinations, suspicious of everyone, delusions and trying to get out of bed and the facility. Discharged her to a nice AL/memorycare with round the clock aides ($6000/month plus $15. per hour X 24 hours) where broke her hip--no fall. Discharged to NH for rehab; she only had a bit of Medicare left for rehab, so she's now there as a private pay patient ($15,000 a month, semi-private). She's getting wonderful care there, feels very secure that there are nurses around all the time so that she doesn't have to worry about what every little symptom means. They've also figured out her antidepressent and anti anxiety meds so that she's calm and not agitated. But it looks like this is where she's going to stay. Fortunately, she has the funds and we'll sell the house to fund further. She's 91 now, and if the funds run out, she'll be on Medicaid. In my family, the mantra was "we expect to spend every penny of our money before we die, so make your own way in the world and don't expect there to be anything left over". I believe my dad started saying that to me when I was 10; we had other parts of the family where behavior was based solely on how much you thought you were going to inherit from someone, with truly heartbreaking results for all involved.
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ba8alou - thanks for the backup here. Your mother is the perfect example of someone who is financially well enough off that no one would think Medicaid could possibly be an issue. However, as your story points out so well, we never know the future.

I'm so happy for you and your family that your mother is in such a wonderful care facility. My hope for everyone (until there is a different care solution) is that every care facility in the country is this good. Many elders feel very safe and comfortable under such care.

Warmly,
Carol
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I should add that this eas a facility that we had crossed off our list...twice...ehen doing our searches for rehab for mom. Fortunately, when the wonderful discharge planner at the hospital heard our details, she said you MUST look at this place, regardless of ratings, ehich don't always tell you the current story. Not all advice is equally good, but try to hear what is being said.
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I strongly agree that ratings don't tell the full story. Thank you for reinforcing that. Facilities change management and even ownership and it can take time for records to catch up. Staff changes - and to me staffing is the most important. It's the people who count. Also - national ratings can be misleading. A health inspection in one state that ending with 3 rating could receive a 5 in another state. Standards vary greatly. Certainly - check ratings. However, listen to those who know as ba8alou did. Also, check it out personally and see how the staff interact. You can tell quite a bit by observation (not the same thing as listening to a "tour guide."
Great information ba8alou!
Carol
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