Two months ago I moved my mom to AL because I could not provide the 24 hour a day care she needed. Since then she has declined rapidly, been in and out of the hospital, is on her second facility, has repeated urinary infections, refuses to eat, is aggressive and combative physically and verbally, and they are putting her on more and more psych meds and are telling me they may have to call 911 and put her in a psych ward. Did I cause that? Two months ago she was confused but nothing like this. If I bring her home she may get better, but my husband says no and it will ruin my life. How do I make the choice to put myself first and let her life become hell?
I don't think its a bad idea for your mom because dementia is non cure able diseases your mom will get in worse condition with time so you contact with better facility . i know some of them if you want to consult then just check these hi, I just read your post and feel very bad but you should not loose your strength and just tell the truth to your mom she will definitely understand your situation and I am sure you will fix the things take care and and good luck .
good luck and stay strong.
This is stressful and painful to see, but it is Not Your Fault.
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. Please do not beat yourself up over this.
What you CAN do is keep allll over her doctor until he finds something that will calm her. Put your energy there.
See what, if anything, you can do to help them manage her; but remember this: you moved her into long term care because you couldn't manage her 24/7. That is an extremely good reason, and now it's an even better reason. Bringing her home could be disastrous for you and actually dangerous for her.
Give it a bit more time and see how she gets on. You've given the ALF their professional job to do, so let them do it, but that doesn't mean you can't ask them to explain your mother's care plan to your satisfaction.
Please try not to blame yourself. You're still there, still caring about her, and this horrible upset phase will get sorted out.
It sounds like you have weighed the options and made the right decision for your mom.
Did moving her cause her to become disoriented? Maybe. Might she have become disoriented at home? Maybe . Would it be better if she were still at home? Where she would have access to kitchen knives, matches, things that chop and things that get hot? No. Would she be better off with you getting ill, injured and burned out from caregiving, and ending up in a facility WITHOUT a loving daughter? NO.
Your husband is a smart and loving man. Listen to him.