My Mom turns 100 at the end of December and family & friends are asking what my “celebration” plans are. She lives with me and I have done everything possible during this pandemic to keep her safe and well. Her health and mind are excellent, but I am against having a full blown “celebration”. Even a drive-by is going to be difficult because of the location of our condo and access to a window where she can see and be seen. Not to mention the possibility of snow. I’m getting pushback from family and it’s beginning to add stress to an already stressful situation, as I am her full time caregiver.
I know you guys will give me some sound advice.
HOWEVER, I’d be kinda concerned about folks kevetching about to being able to do Zoom.... complaining about sound, view, lost connections, yada yada. For 100th Bday there’s probably going to be folks that are technologically challenged. You know your family best as to just how much this would be problematic.
Moodys suggestion of a photo card party is lovely idea; could be both snail mail for those that love Hallmark shopping or email for others.
For her 89th birthday we had a 4hr Zoom where family and friends around the country could join. SHE LOVED IT!!!! Said it was her best birthday ever.
We had hoped to have a New Year's "Stopping Time at 89" party. Sadly, we can't do that. I'm hoping in summer we can have a grand party.
My suggestion is to care for your mom - and all the others who would be at risk with a party - by not having one in person. Imagine if someone got sick because of a party. That would haunt you forever.
Have people send cards.
Make videos of your mom to share.
Setup a Zoom.
There are ways to be together and safe.
Wishing you the best
I point out that people are sacrificing all kind of things during this time, this is her cross to bear. Her grandson, my nephew had a larger wedding planned for this past April bu thad to just do a small ceremony.
We have decided that just our immediate family would take her to church as it falls on a sunday and she has not been able to go as she doesnt drive and her driving friends dont go no, even though the church has limited capacity and spacing out then take her to her favorite restaurant which she has not been able to do, but it will be a small group with a spaced out restaurant
Then, on May 30, we would plan to have a 90 1/2 birthday celebration. Hopefully things will be better by then but also we can do it outside. Letting her know of this plan has pacified her a bit. It may not happen depending on what is going on them, but if we have a plan she likes it.
Nursing home disallowed ANY outside food UNLESS delivered only by Grubhub/Doordash. I had a custom cake made at a bakery (Home was going to give her a pathetic cupcake for turning 90! That's insulting!) I paid Doordash to deliver a special cake decorated with her name to the nursing home. Flowers delivered too. She never got the cake. They gave her the crappy cupcake - Guess the staff enjoyed my mommie's cake...
Warning: Without personal visitations by family, nursing home can't be held to account!
I like your idea of having "each person call at a different hour" - that would stretch out the celebration throughout the day!
Even though I thought about it as a surprise, I actually like her knowing so as you suggested she could get her mom prepared and dressed up for the occasion!
Let people send gifts, Zoom, create a memory scrapbook where people write letters, collect videos, etc. She can enjoy these things more than once.
You're right about protecting her mom and she would never forgive herself if anyone got sick, especially her mom.
It has been interesting to read all the ideas though!
I forgot in my earlier post, that I've seen celebrations "caravan" style. Families and friends are in their own vehicle which they decorate themselves with balloons, signs etc. they have their own "goodies" so they aren't cross-sharing if they don't want to. If they have gifts/cards, they give them to you first to keep with you so you can give them to your mom and since we're in a warmer state they usually go to a park however, in a colder climate the vehicles can be parked after a short drive and the celebration is held within everyone's vehicle via Zoom or Facetime. Then the cake can be shared with everyone.
Please CELEBRATE! God Bless You!!!
You get it - my husband likes to say it's like a chain-link fence trying to keep out a mosquito!
My mom at 95 survived COVID in May and was only hospitalized for three days.
P.S. I mean no disrespect to anyone who has lost an elderly loved one to COVID - circumstances vary widely especially if they've been in a facility.
It was a nice gathering. Gifts open later just with mom and dad to be. No crowd for safety of mom.
Thank you for giving your mom such a lovely 97th birthday party for her last week. I'm so glad it turned out wonderful and that she truly enjoyed all the calls from the people who participated.
My mom will be 96 on Valentine's Day so I will be in the same boat. This year she was completely mobile, able to dress herself and I took her to Olive Garden. Now after nearly dying from severe dehydration and getting COVID, she can't do either and is under hospice care.
Great suggestions and God bless you for making her day a special one!
There are some good ideas here about having family and friends send greetings, cards, flowers, gifts--whatever you can handle. A good idea also to talk it over with your mother.
It would be terrible to risk an in-person gathering and have anyone get sick or die, most of all your mother!
Celebrate with those in the house only and possibly to include all others a Zoom invite at a certain time to wish your mom a Happy 100th birthday.
My dad who lives with me turned 85 in July.We celebrated with the five people who live in my house.I posted pics and videos on FB for all others to see.
Hope this helps
Happy 100th birthday to your mom
God bless her.
I asked family and friends on FB to send her cards. She was SHOWERED with cards!! She got LOTS of flowers and gifts and window visits and FaceTime calls and phone calls. She was very happy. She enjoyed looking at all the cards over and over!
She understands about the virus. So I think simply doing the best we can during these crazy times is all we can do. Let’s hope your centenarian can do a big better late than never 101 years young party in 2021!!
her 91 year old Dad who lives with her. He received 71 cards and opens several each day. She plans on recycling the cards daily. I feel it's a very creative and loving gesture.
I decorated a shoe box with pretty birthday paper and, on the day of her birthday, I called ahead to let them know it was her birthday and that I was bringing a gift. They have a table on the porch to drop off items for the residents from their families. We were able to see one another through the window. My mom calls me every evening and she was so happy to receive the many cards that family and friends sent. Many of them called her on the phone throughout the week to wish her well and visit with her. Some even sent pictures of their families and I made sure mom had current pictures of her two new great grandbabies. She was so happy and continues to look at all the pictures everyday. Your family and friends need to understand that you and your mom need to be very careful about both the Covid and flu virus. It is a blessing for your mom to be here this long and still have her health and mind. You both need to protect yourselves as best you can and it certainly sounds like you have done a wonderful job so far. Your mom and my mom's generation are a very hardy and stubborn bunch. Look at all the things they had to live through growing up! Have a 'card party' and let family and friends know they are welcome to call to wish your mom a happy birthday. Most will understand. In the meantime, I'm wishing you, as one caregiver to another, the very best and a very happy birthday to your mom!
the decision is taken out of your hands and put into the physicians.