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My 92-year-old mother has vascular dementia. She is living at home and knows all her familiar family and where she is. However lately, within the last 2 months, she's started asking for instructions on how and when to do practically everything. I wonder if she's so insecure, she can't think for herself anymore? For instance, she'll say, I need to go to the bathroom. I give her her walker, then she'll ask, "so what do I do now, get up?" When she's up, she'll ask, "So, what do I do now, walk?" When she's done on the toilet, she'll ask, "So, what do I do now, get up?" It's this way about everything. Getting dressed, eating, walking, doing puzzles or playing games. I'm just wondering if anyone knows if this is normal behavior for vascular dementia, or if she's just become too dependent on others to 'think' for her? Any suggestions or insights would be appreciated and thoughts to me to keep from loosing my mind?


Thanks so much!


MamaChar

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With Vascular Dementia, my mom gradually lost the ability to sequence any task and needed step by step instructions and prompts.
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I don’t know what kind of dementia my mother has (she fought being tested). Over a year ago she became angry while in the hospital and refused to do anything for herself anymore, including feeding herself. This went on for months but I her hand coordination was good. Asked her why she stopped feeding herself. She said nobody told her to feed herself so she didn’t. I then ordered her to pick up the spoon, dip it in her food and feed herself. So she did.

Never crossed her mind to pick up the food in front of her, even when she was very hungry, unless told to.
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She's lost the ability to think through how to do tasks. She's not lazy or overly dependent.
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So, it sounds like this is just another stage of dementia deterioration. So sad. I just don't want to be doing 'tough love' if she really can't sequence her tasks. Bless her heart. I truly appreciate the insights.
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