Today my mom, 65, had her first fall. She went to the hospital and has a broken hip and is having surgery tomorrow morning. She will need physical therapy as well. I have no idea as of yet whether she has any other medical conditions because she hasn't been to a doctor or had medical insurance in 5 years at least. I live 9 hours away and my sister 5 hours. I am here for my the next few days but I cannot stay. I do not have any clue what to do. She wants to stay independent, but I don't feel like we can risk it. She was on the floor all night before she could call anyone. I really need advice here.
The poster's Mother is only 65.
When they deem her 'healed' enough, they will release her (usually 2 or 3 days providing there are no other health issues). The social worker can look into Skilled Nursing Facilities where she can receive physical therapy. Things vary on how long she will be there - insurance, progress with therapy, etc. PT can also continue once she goes home; again, it all depends on insurance.
If she does return home, I highly recommend getting her a medical alert necklace. Thankfully, my mom had hers on when she fell the last time while I was at work.
(This is a really quick, short description of what you may go through, but I figured I'd give you an idea of what to expect since you've never been through it before.)
Does your mom have Medicare?
Why hasn't she been seeing a doctor?
Does she work?
Is she getting Social Security,?
You need to see the discharge planning office asap. Hospitals start discharge planning the minute you are admitted by law.
You need to let them know that mom has no caregiver at home and that she will need inpatient rehab and support afterwards. Because you have tovwork for a living.
Doesn't want to see a doctor.. fear I think. She is not working and does have social security. I will go see the discharge office tomorrow. Thank you so much.
Talk honestly to her heath team. Don't over promise help you can't actually do.
Be realistic. If you can stay one week after discharge, tell them. If you can't at all, tell them. It will help the staff make the safest discharge plan.
Keep you common-sense hat on! Some Mothers will add big pressure to 'get me out of here'. Want promises you'll move in so they can avoid a rehab stay or PT 'strangers' in their home.
You don't need to fly into town on a white horse to save her.
It's her hip after all. The recovery & rehab is hers too.
Be as interested & supportive as suits your relationship.
She's young so hopefully should recover really well.
You want to ask the sw at the hospital to find out if mom qualifies for MEDICAID (medical insurance for folks who are low income) or if she qualifies for help with her Medicare part B premium.
My mom (who has since passed away) had 3 kids who loved her dearly. We all n worked and had mortgages, kids in college and retirements to fund. When she broke her hip at agev90, it did not enter our minds for ONE SECOND that our mom should be cared for by any of us. Mom went to NH and lived a good life for and lived another 4.5 years there with us as frequent visitors.
Do not let ANYONE tell you that you must do hands on care for your mom.
Your mother's insurance situation needs to be figured out pronto. What kind of relationship do you have with her?
Keep us updated!
When this was needed for my parents & aunt we put a lock box on her door so caregivers, therapists and home health nurses could come & go.
Mom may be ready for some kind of a life alert necklace in case she falls again or has an emergency. There are also in home cameras to monitor her and you view from your cell phone. My aunt has "Nest" cameras since she is alone after bedtime. Mother has a life alert necklace but she lives in an independent apartment on a senior community. Another idea for your mom.
I pray she recovers well. Is any family in town or closer to her? Would she consider moving closer to you or sister?
Please ask more questions here. We have all been through similar issues and are very willing to help you.
After her surgery she will go to rehab.
They should not discharge her if she can not safely care for herself.
If funds are an issue she should discuss with the Social Worker application for Medicaid.
You and or your sister can research on line what services she might qualify for. The Social Worker can or should be able to help with that.
You say your Mom is not on insurance. Is there a reason that your mother is not on Medicare?
You will be now in a hospital setting. It is time to discuss with Social Services. Call them immediately and let them know Mom will not have a support system.
Your Mom will likely go to rehab. It is important to let Social Services at rehab know that your Mom has no support system in the area. She may require placement for some period due to this.
If your Mom has made no POA designations and no medical advanced directives, now is the time to consider addressing this; Social services can help and guide. If you, nor anyone else in family wishes to do this then it may be necessary in future to allow the state to assume guardianship or conservatorship should Mom become incapacitated mentally in future. That is likely some time away; as I said, your Mother is not old by today's standards at all.
Speak with Social Services as soon as you are able. This being the weekend get nursing staff to get MD order for Social Service consult soon as possible, leaving your phone for contact.
Best of luck.
In any case, she has demonstrated that she is no longer able to live alone safely. Her judgement is poor. She may go home now but you can count on this happening again with increasing frequency of medical/safety problems.
If you do let her "go home":
1. You need to know why and how she fell, and she won't tell you.
2. You need an in-home safety assessment.
3. Mom needs to be able to afford modifications to her living environment.
4. Mom needs to get regular medical care, take her medications, and be willing to follow directions.
5. You need to arrange regular visitation from a social worker and a visiting nurse.
5. You will need to arrange transportation, since Mom can't drive until medically cleared to do so. While you are at it, arrange for a driving evaluation to see if she is still safe to drive. And get her vision checked. If her depth perception is poor that can contribute to falls as well as be an issue for driving.
6. Make long term plans. Get the needed POAs to implement them. Do this now while Mom can (presumably) participate and make appropriate decisions.
I think most of us would strongly recommend that you look at long-term housing for Mom near you or your sister, to make inevitable needs more manageable.
You have time bc she will go to hospital to rehab. But after that...
If a person has a fall, they will have another. We were taught that in OT School.
So time for new arrangements, wills, poa, end of life decisions etc. Take care.
her mobile. It gets worse than you can imagine if she has to go to a facility
In my case, my husband who has Alzheimer's would never think to look for me if something happened to me. Already one night I was outside in our spa, stark raving naked, and he locked the back door for the night. The gates were locked too. I did have a beach towel, so if I couldn't get in at least I could get back in the spa to stay warm and have a cover for morning. I banged on the window until I finally got his attention. Funny now, but it wasn't then. After that I took the keys when I would use it. He never looks for me to see if I am OK and if fell in the garage, God only knows how long I could lay there before someone found me.
Check with the Hospital business office and see if there is someway to have Mom's bills paid.
This will make a difference in her overall outcome and future care needs.
Because, if she has osteoporosis so bad that her hip spontaneously broke, she will likely end up immobilized pretty quickly without medical intervention and that isn't going to happen without medical insurance in place.
To bad she is learning the hard way, everything is fine until it isn't.
Find a Medicare broker, they will help you find the best coverage for her needs and that is what's really important now.
AND...do not automatically assume she is an incompetent invalid like some alarmists seem to think. You can talk with her and make a better determination. I'm 68 years old and far from needing to go to assisted living but would gladly do so if I needed it.
There is absolutely no reason she can not remain independent in her own home. If it turns out she needs additional care in the future and needs assistance. You can look into a program like IRIS which will help you pay for care and whatever else she may need in her home so that she can be independent. They will help to pay for the in home care and SHE would choose who she wants to be the caregiver and how often. She can choose family or friends as well.
She can also apply for early SS right on line if she needs additional income.
She may need a couple or 3 weeks in a rehab facility but, from more than one sad personal experience, I say AVOID rehab facilities that are located in nursing homes! They often treat everyone as "old", senile and basically uncooperative...tend to convince patients and family that nursing home is next likely stop.
An actual rehabilitation hospital is much more likely to encourage patients as capable adults with a future. Unless she has several on-going medical or mental problems she should soon be up to independent living at home. Someone to provide housekeeping help might be a good idea, for awhile. No need for you to stay except maybe to get her settled safely back in her home.
You say Mom has no insurance? Is Mom on Medicare? If not, why not?
I think your Mom will need to go to rehab after her hospitalization and the quickest way to get all that started is to talk to Social Worker TODAY in the hospital, explaining that you and your Sis won't be there, that Mom is on her own.
After this you will likely be contacted as things move along, at to how rehab is going for Mom and what assist she will need when she is home, what medicare and medicaid help there might be for her, and etc.
As I said, by today's standards Mom is not old. I am 80, and just went backwards in the yard yesterday. At some point, active as I am, something WILL bust. I expect to get back on my feet quickly as I can after that, but one never knows.
Mom will, of course, get her checkup now in hospital.
A good time for you and your Sis to discuss which of you, if any, would like POA, and to talk to Mom about planning for the future with getting a DPOA in place while you are now there. Many attorneys will visit in hospital. Many hospitals have volunteer notaries. Another thing to discuss with Social Worker.
I wouldn't be too overly concerned, my mother had her hip replaced at age 88, she is 97 now, doing just fine, hip wise.
If you are concerned get her a life alert type device that she can use.