She has end stage osteoarthritis, rt hip She has Alzheimer's. Mod-Sev. She's pretty communicative and wants to go places, it's a matter of quality of life at this point. She has terrible short term memory loss of course and we have been very honest with her in the moment and she says she won't use a wheelchair. She lives with us and having her bound to a chair would not be impossible but hard. She would have to have rehab afterwards of course. Another question would be: If she has the surgery, is it better to rehab at home or in a rehab facility?
What is the prognosis if she doesn't have surgery? If she doesn't and becomes wheelchair bound, that also may affect her outlook because it compromises her mobility so much. But if she won't use a wheelchair, I'm not sure how she'll get around with a bad hip.
She may be digging in her heels about wheelchair use because she feels frightened between 2 perhaps life changing options, and resents life having proceeded to create this difficult choice for her.
I only have experience with fractured hips. Prior to surgery for the second hip fracture, the consulting cardiologist was reluctant to give approval because of my father's age in the mid 90's. But as he also acknowledged, someone can't live the rest of his life with that kind of a hip fracture.
I was familiar with the doctors from previous treatments, had confidence in them, and knew that my father would rather be mobile than incapacitated in a facility for the rest of his life. The surgery took place 2 years ago. My father still has mobility challenges but on good day he walks w/o a walker. He didn't have dementia, though, and he's a committed and determined person,.
Personally, I think if you can find a good rehab place, it's better for everyone. Your MIL will get therapy with machines that aren't available in a home, unless someone has a real mini gym. She'll have nursing and aid care, prepared meals, and she'll be treated by medical professionals who know how to deal with people who are unsettled after surgery.