She had gotten sick three years ago at that time I had to do everything. She has been fine ever since but won't do the simplest things,example...I cant buckle my seatbelt,do it for me. She does 2 things eat constantly and vegetate in front of the TV. Meanwhile I am a 24 hr caretaker for my (really) disabled husband,her son. she will not do anything to help him either. She has gained over 100lbs in the last year but swears shes losing weight. She has no other family than my husband so she lives with us.I am doing absolutely everything and then some and she is mean and miserable to both of us, she is sucking the lifeblood out of me. She will not go to any social event and is here 24/7 and never ever pleasant, I have no way of getting out of this for even an hour at my wits end, my blood pressure is sky rocketing from stress. I've been told I have to take care of myself, I want to be here for my husband and he needs 24hr assistance. Anything said to her is taken as an attack, she is completely unreasonable. What do I do with Miss Piggy, I cant throw her out?
She ought to be glad I get to play on the computer 2-3 hours a day. I wouldn't be able to afford to take care of her lazy self if I didn't! (Man, that felt good to say.)
Tsoto1, I know exactly where you are coming from. If your MIL is like my mother, lazy has been a lifelong thing. I don't let it bother me as much as it used to, because I know that being industrious and helpful is good. Getting mad about her laziness was just hurting me. So I just do what I need to. I know you need to help your husband and you first and her second. I know that you have no time left over at the end of the day. It is so hard to live for three people. I am glad you are here so you can vent about it.
Does she walk OK? I assume you do all the cooking. I wonder what you have tried to get her to act better. Does she yell? Can you send her to her room? Shouldn't your husband lay down the law to her, since she's his mother?
Is your husband on disability and medicaid? Can Medicaid send someone once or twice a week so you can at least get out?
Does your MIL have other children besides your husband? If so, have a family meeting to declare truce. Does your MIL have any assets for which to pay for assisted living? Caregivers?
What exactly is wrong with your husband? Does he have a life long illness? Is he in a hospital bed and/or immobile?
Regarding your MIL, call your local Dept of Health and Human Services to see how they can help.
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