My mother is a hoarder and an internet shopper. She has a decent retirement and SS check but was paying out more than she was taking in due to a multitude of reasons. I tried to help her years ago and she wouldn't let me. She is 84 and of sound mind but has declining health issues due to two needed surgeries that got her down very quickly. These were in a short period of time and VERY invasive. So our problem is that we didn't know how bad off she was in her home and financially till we got in there and started assessing.
I was already a POA for everything so we began working on her debts first. She was a victim of magazine scams for thousands of dollars. This caused her legit bills to all bounce and lots of bank fees weekly. Auto pay on everything is awful!! They had her debit card #. We got her direct deposits moved to a new acct….closed that acct...and changed her phone #. That has helped. However she still has a rather substantial outstanding debt. She needs a safe place to live and this was the best for her. My husband and I fear for trying to pay her outstanding debts with what's left! I did things in a way that I won't be liable, but it's still scary for us. We hate to file bankruptcy and her lawyer prefers to not put her through that. We are at a loss how to continue paying credit cards and consolidation loans!
https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0153-choosing-credit-counselor
A Credit Counselor should work to help bring the debt down. First, credit cards can be frozen. Her debit/atm card shredded. Good that you closed the her acct and opened a new one. The best thing is have the counselor work on getting her charges down. Credit cards can get around late and finance fees. Once that is done you consolidate the debt so you have one payment. One she can afford, When she passes, if there is still debt, it dies with her unless she leaves a house that can be sold or money. You cannot be held responsible.
There was a program for seniors for this readon and he was still able to keep his house.
That being said, I've helped a number of older people file bankruptcy because it's one appearance at a trustee's hearing and the debt is gone. Otherwise you are dealing with harassing debt collectors and multiple court appearances. Talk to a local bankruptcy attorney. It never hurts to get more information.
You really cannot change this situation most likely .
I think if I were you , I'd stop trying to control her . Perhaps ask the recreation co-ordinator if there is one , what activities they might be able to encourage her in .
Or perhaps you can work with her once a week for an hr on something she loves ?
Life is short and there are too many regrets once she is gone .
This issue will resolve itself when she is gone .
For now , please just love her .
Just trying to put perspective on the situation.
They can make adjustments on accounts and that’s what a credit counseling service negotiates. They will also offer to combine all the debt but that one payment will seem undoable.
As long as they have no access to your mom by phone or mail, I like the advice given by the attorney. Pay the debt last, after living expenses.
They took advantage of a little old lady. I wouldn’t worry too much about them except for protecting her home.
Charlotte
I contacted the magazines and explained what had happened and ask them to shorten the subscriptions and return some of the money. It took about 6 months for this to happen, but they complied. My friends had enough money, so that wasn't the issue. It was the scamming of older people who couldn't keep track of these things that mattered to me, plus my friends cold no longer process the content of the magazines, so they were a waste. I ended up bringing the magazines to the school my friend used to teach at for the teachers there to be able to use.
So, get the credit card so no more spending will take place, and contact those magazines to see if some money can be returned. When I got my friends moved into a memory care apartment, I stopped their phone service, too. There was no way to contact them and they were safe.
He also bought a device that was supposed to give him really cheap phone service, but had a contract with it for 5 years that ended up being more than $100 per month because they sent him 2 devices. That bill he took to his bank, and the bank manager got involved. After a few phone calls, and some threats, the $$ charges were stopped.
I hope there is a special place in hell for these people that take advantage of the elderly.
P.S. Could not post a cute pic but send me your email if you like and I can send it direct to you . Keep smiling !