My mother is 92 and is very independent, outspoken, and stubborn. I have legal executive power over her finances. Sometimes she wears the same clothes for weeks at the time. She says she washes herself, and changes her clothes often, but we know that's not true. The doctor says she has beginning stages of Alzhiemers , but most of the time her mind is sharp .I buy her new clothes, even though she has a room full of clothes, and I take her to get her hair done, I have done everything I know to convince her that she needs to change clothes more often, but she declares she has. she refuses my help. I am the only girl in the family. I love her so much. Please help me.
Another idea would be to buy more clothes that look the same (or very similar) to those she's been wearing for weeks at a time. Then all you'd have to do at night is take the ones she wore during the day, replace them with a (similar looking) fresh set (to wear the next day), and throw today's dirty clothing in the laundry basket.
Regarding bathing and showers, as GivingItMyAll indicated, space heaters can make a big difference. Both my elderly parents get cold so easily in the shower, but a space heater has really helped.
One thing that helped when my dad kept refusing to take a shower regularly was being frank. I simply told him he was starting to smell. (I'd made a list of 5 or 6 different reasons regular showering was important--including statements made by his dermatologist about his various skin issues. The smell issue was the only thing that made an impression.)
Another thing that's helped, when one of my parents doesn't want to do something he/she needs to do, has to do with the lack of control they feel. It's got to be tough to have to depend on others, even those you love. So as you're working through a problem like the bathing issue, find a way to give her back as much control as possible. Offer choices: Would you like a washcloth to hold over your face while we rinse your hair? Would you like some earplugs to wear in the shower? Which color bath towel do you want tonight? Do you want to brush your teeth now or wait till later? Little things that can make a big difference.
One more thing that's been useful when someone is starting to get upset is the power of distraction. Let's say Dad is sitting on the shower seat and he's getting angry because things are not moving along fast enough. To completely change his focus, I might start asking him questions: What do you want to do for lunch, Dad? Go out or eat at home? What DVD do you want to watch this afternoon? What do you think your grandson is doing today?
You sound like such a sweet daughter. Wishing you and Mom the very best.