He told my mother we were trying to steal away his power, but the letter was only to express her wishes because he doesn't believe us when we tell him that mom doesn't know how much money she has and that we would like to be able to answer her questions and also know. My brother, POA, says he doesn't care about any notarized letter. He says it is none of our business, and he says my mom never asks him for bank statements. However, she is always telling us she is out of money and doesn't know what she has. Even though he may disclose this information to her, she still wants all four of her children to know. So is this document we have stating her wishes and notarized of no use?
If your Mother IS competent she can remove your brother as POA and assign anyone she likes.
A notarized letter means ZERO. It means only that a Notary has attested that it is your Mother's signature. A notary does no exam for competence of a signer.
Not only does a POA have no DUTY to tell you or anyone other than a court about the person who assigned him, but he has a DUTY NOT TO SHARE this information.
It is not your business how much money your mother has. It is not your business how the POA is managing your Mother for her best interests. If your Mother is competent to handle her own affairs and IS handling her own affairs then SHE HERSELF can share whatever she wants to with you, but as a legal fiduciary the brother cannot share this information with you.
If you have reason to believe your brother is ACTING FRAUDULENTLY in your Mother's behalf then take your evidence to an attorney.
You are correct. The document that is notarized and signed by your mother is meaningless and of no use IF your Mother is diagnosed with dementia.
If she is NOT diagnosed she can fire your brother as POA and assign YOU today if she wishes.
I never understood why my BIL would not share with his siblings .. it created great distrust… I still believe it to be a power trip. And doing what he could for inheritance, not for what the physical needs and abilities of others actually was. This family will never heal …
Liability of a Minnesota Attorney-in-Fact; Court Jurisdiction After August 1, 2013
After August 1, 2013, the Minnesota power of attorney statutes provide that any “interested person” – as that term is defined under the Minnesota conservatorship statutes – may petition the court:
for a protective order directing an attorney-in-fact to provide an accounting, on a schedule directed by a court, or for any other relief as provided in the Minnesota conservatorship statutes – which may include seeking the appointment of a limited or unlimited conservator.
The definition of an interested person under the Minnesota conservatorship statutes is somewhat flexible, but likely includes:
- the principal
- any nominated or duly appointed Guardian or Conservator for the principal
- the principal’s spouse, parent, adult children and siblings, or in some cases the principal’s “next of kin”
- a health care agent or proxy appointed pursuant to a health care directive
- an adult person who has lived with the principal for a period of more than six months.
So in layman's terms, (in MN) a qualified interested person (as defined above) can only force proof of PoA through the court. A PoA (or person claiming to be) does not have to show or prove it without a court order.
The attorney added: "But the threat of a lawsuit could be established by letter with the added threat of requesting their removal as POA Agent. That might get cooperation."
I have a question in to him for which I await an answer: does the interested party need to have a legal or valid *reason* to know? Like suspecting financial abuse or identity theft? Or can it be for any reason at all? In other words, so that they (interested party) are not just harrassing the alleged PoA?
I'll post when I have an answer to this (for my state, MN). Please understand it may be different in your state.
Also, please know that if your mother has cognitive/memory impairment it would not be unusual for such an elder to not give you accurate information, or information that is not factual but that they believe sincerely is reality. If she is impaired enough that your brother's PoA is now active, then her notarizing something probably means nothing legally.
Is there a reason to mistrust your brother, other than what your mother is telling you?
If she is incompetent thats a whole different story. She cannot change her DPOA and brother is correct in that at this point, its between him and Mom.
My understanding of one of the responsibilities of a POA is to NOT discuss any financial information with other people.
Is it possible he IS telling mom how much money she has, but because of her dementia she thinks he is not, or she can't remember the conversations? Paranoia about people stealing from them is a common thread you see written here about people who suffer from dementia.
If there already is bad blood between all of you as siblings, it is likely what is making him even more adamant about not giving any of you information.
In general, I'm always curious about the reasons when a non-POA sibling comes into the forum to question the actions of the sibling chosen to be POA. My mom made me her POA because 1) she lived with me and 2) I was likely the only one who would have been willing to do the work that comes along with the job.
What was it about your brother that made mom choose him to be her POA whenever it was that she named him?
I hope you and your brother/other siblings can come to an understanding that will give your mom some peace, because I agree with Alva that she is the one who will likely suffer the most from the feud.
I have way too much to say on this subject, but live in fear my controlling youngest caregiving sister will read my words, cause we have very different POV’s, and attitudes about enabling, and will cut me off from my mom and dad. They gave her ALL the control, and she knows it. She can have every dime, if there is one left at the end of this miserable ride, but I will accept zero guilt, resentment or bitterness, if she realizes she was expected to do too damn much. I want nothing, never expected anything and if your mom is being taken care of properly, with love and attention, like our parents, don’t worry about the money. Take care.