My father passed away 2 years ago. The emotional abuse began when I was a child. I've never been happy. I just need some space. Because of her verbal and emotional abuse, I'm afraid to have kids because I don't want to take on her characteristics. She has been staying with me for the past 2 years. She constantly make threats that she's leaving. I feel like I just need peace and quiet without all the threats.
What is the worst thing that would happen to you if she left?
And if I'm confused, how on earth must you feel about it?
How would you like things to be? Try breaking that down. In your ideal world…
mother would be living… where?
your relationship with her would be… what?
the kind of plans you would be making for your life might include… what?
You sound as if you are lost in the FOG (search the AC website for that term, specifically, and you'll see lots of relevant threads). But recognising it is the first step towards finding your way out of it, so that's a start :)
By the way, when you say "…using emotional blackmail on her children" where are the other children in all this? Who's the "we" in the "what do we do?"