My mom has been in lovely Assisted Living 3 years. I love it there. She does too. Dementia, anxiety. She is on medication for anxiety that I have asked to be adjusted some through time. We hire sitter from 6:00-10:00 each night, and I visit daily. I have been holding tight to this AL and fearing the next move. She increasingly calls really scared not knowing where she is. Thinking it’s her first day at the AL. I’m starting to wonder if I should move her to Memory Care now while she still has some cognitive ability. Is it better to keep her in AL until they tell me it’s time to move up a level in care, or would it be better for her to move sooner? I can’t believe I’m even thinking of moving her. Surely it will terribly hard on her.
The pros: She has WAY MORE care in Memory Care; the caregiver to resident ratio is MUCH higher. She's checked on hourly and taken to the bathroom for a Depends change or to use the toilet, etc.
There is much less confusion in Memory Care because there is much less stress on them......no microwave to deal with, no fridge, no dining room schedule, no worries about getting to said dining room on a different floor, etc.
The cons: My mother is the most cognizant resident there. Therefore, she calls the others 'stupid' and 'morons' and generally makes an ass of herself. The others who have worse dementia knock on her door, thinking it's 'their' room, and she has a total meltdown, screaming and cussing at them, calling the caregivers and making a Federal case in general. ADATT=All Drama All The Time. She complains constantly about 'why can't I go back' to Assisted Living, when she knows she was unable to handle it for 9 months PRIOR to moving to Memory Care.
The bottom line: Don't move mother to Memory Care until you are forced to do so. That's my opinion, from someone who's Been There Done That.
Best of luck!!!!
As for the phone calls, voice mail...set a recording when she calls that will reassure her that she is safe and you will talk to her later.
Have you considered not answering all her calls? Seems to upset you too much. If there is an emergency the home will contact you.
Sometimes we care givers overdo the caregiving and that leads us down the path to the dark hole, we need to take care of us too.