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Has anyone ever moved a parent with dementia across the country? Mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers two years ago, and I am frustrated trying to manage problems long distance. My sister is in the same town and is great---but not great at confronting ongoing problems with Mother's care at her care facility. I am trying to figure out if I can get Mom closer to me, but can't see how I would get her on a plane and fly her out here to me. I think my sis has been burnt out and in denial for a while, and even though I do a lot from long distance and visit often, it's just not the same thing as being there all the time. I want to help both of them but don't really know how.

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What type of facility is Mom in, Assisted living or NH? What are the problems with her care? I had no problems when Mom was in the AL or LTC. I visited everyday when Mom was in the AL because it was literally down the Street. I may stay only 15 min. When she was in LTC, it was every other day. In the AL, I did have to get her Depends and toiletries. I also did her laundry. LTC I just visited. Mom paid privately for 2 months then went on Medicaid. I allowed the NH to become her payee for SS and pension. So no need to write that check. Eventually, I allowed them to do her laundry. Her Depends and toiletries were provided. If I hadn't had the responsibility of the sale if her house, things would have been great.

I was there enough, I guess, that questions were asked why I was there. I think between the two I may have had 3 calls. Two because
She fell out of bed and one to get permission to place her on Hospice. Never was I undated with calls, If I had been, I would have put a stop to it. Is your sister maybe taking on too much. Maybe being a "helicopter" daughter? There are just things when someone is in care you have to let go of. Mine was Moms hair. No one combed it right. 🤣My DD is an RN in NHs. She told me to give it up.

I would not try and move Mom. I would not want to try and take her on a plane the way things are today. Definitely if she is incontinent. No way are u going to get two people into one of those bathrooms. And its not fair to expect the staff to see to her needs. Either Sis would fly out with her, or u would fly there and bring her back. And I would never drive miles with her.
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For a person with dementia a move across the street will be just as confusing as a move across the country.
The easiest way to get her to you would be you go to her and fly back with her.
Or if your sister would fly with her. (but only if mom is comfortable with her)
Do expect the trip to be confusing
Request a wheelchair to get her through the airport and through security. It would be faster than walking to the gate.
Medication for anxiety can help but it can make her a fall risk.
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