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Alone for 20 to 30 minutes while she went to pick up food for my mom. Granted, my mom told her to go, however, my mom is bedbound in a diaper and cannot stop anyone from doing anything. The caretaker said what was I supposed to do? And I said, I signed her up for DoorDash left credit cards for everyone in the restaurant that you just ordered from and left my mom alone after our agreement that that was the biggest safety concern and the reason why Is m hiring you and paying you so much money, was on the list and could’ve delivered in 30 minutes. She has done other things that I do not trust. My mother finally trusting her and I don’t want to do anything that my mom is uncomfortable with. This caretaker is leaving for a month to go back to the Philippines in December. Should I just wait and replace her that time? Or if I don’t trust her from some of these little and big things do I give her two weeks and find someone new?

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Wow, already 42 answers, so I'm late but still have something to say ----

Whoever is in charge of hiring caregiver for dementia patient (bed-bound or walking) 24/7 at home should be also responsible for setting up top-priority rule, for example under no circumstances leave the patient alone at home. In addition, give the caregiver contact number in case of unexpectancy/emergency. It may prevent some of these problems from happening again, if not all.
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24/7, huh?
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If mother was bed-bound then less of an issue. Try communicating with the caregiver. That’s free and easy. Caregiver may have thought she was doing “right thing” since even in memory facilities no one is staying in presense of a patients 24 hours a day. Be reasonable. Don’t blame a caregiver if you didn’t communicate or post your rules. Work with and not against the caregiver. Don’t internalize it as an affront or as unsafe when proving food to your mother who clearly is with it enough to still communicate clearly is also a mandatory act of caregiving and perhaps more important to feed a patient then to be with a patient.

The fix is easy. Communicate and make certain YOU provide premade food in home for both of them. Sign up for Meals on Wheels or another food delivery foe your Mother and Amazon food delivery for your employee/contractors caretaker as is your duty under law to provide ample, premade food; not having to make bread from scratch as an example, if it is 24 hour care.

Communicate and provide food. Problem solved.
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Hothouseflower Dec 2022
If that’s the only thing she did wrong, cut her a break.Tell her not to do it again.
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I've had cases where there was no food in the house when I entered. I ended up having to get lunch for both the client and myself. We shared a baked chicken, potato salad and watermelon together. I had the agency yelling at me not to buy any food. I'm not inexperienced, but I refused to let a client starve because the agency offered no recourse or called anyone who could have provided groceries. This lady's refrigerator had some old dried up looking food that had been there for days. There was nothing I could do to resurrect that mess. I wasn't going to feed a client food that wasn't fit for a rat to eat. Also, we are not allowed to use the credit cards of the client to purchase food. We have to take a picture of the receipt and the change given back to the client.

The fact of the matter is that family members will complain about the aide not doing this or that, but aides are hired to help with cleaning and grocery shopping along with providing help with grooming and ADLs.
It is easier to blame the aide than to do the right thing and check to make sure there is food available for the elderly person to eat or at least leave a number of someone who can be responsible for the food and the banking.
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Daphne131 Dec 2022
You are so brave to say all this. The family misthink that by hiring a caregiver they have nothing to do. They must provide food. And the food cannot be from scratch like making bread from scratch for example. If over four (4) hours of work, family must give caregiver breaks also.

Some caregiving companies now hire “contract” caregivers. That means it’s up to the hiring person to broke schedule and beaks. It’s a work around so the company has no liability. The caregivers then charge the caregiver a percentage. So the actual caregiver must make all decision and get all updated training rather the care fund company.

BRAVO BRAVO again for you having the intelligence and wisdom to not automatically misblame the caregiver as most ignorant assume was at fault, when they failed to realize providing food is part of being a caregiver and there is no requirment to be in presence of patient 24 hours a day, but only care for them 24 hours a day unless the contact says that.

Proving food is caring. And if bed-bound there is no safety issue and NO NEGLIGENCE.

If bed-bound they are probably already in a hospital managed care bed. So no difference between being bed-bound in home versus at managed care facility as you know.

So many people make false assumptions and conclusions. It’s wonderful this site of questions and answers exist to show and share things that others are uneducated about. It enhances the lives of all caregivers and the elderly who need them or managed care.

Some are stuck in 20th Century old misthinking about what us best for the elderly and about caregiving. They also claim “Neglect” when they have a pedestrian under staining of the law and no education nor training in law for the elderly.

You are amazing and so kind to share your first hand expert so ithers ehi never thought that the lack of prepared food in the home may have been why the dimentia patient, who poster indicated was not severely with dimentia if having an appetite and able to communicate to caregiver, went out 30 minutes not to speak to boyfriend, smoke or be on phone but yo get food for patient.

Great job. Thank you for sharing and thank you for the expert job you do enhancing the lives of patients and their families. And also for feeding those without food in home. Not everyone can self-reflect or think things out as logically as you are skilled.
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The first question is why wasn’t there ample food in the home for the caregiver and dimentia victim to eat? And second question is why didn’t you make it clear of your rule to NOT leave home for food? If there was ample food in home then their wouldn’t be a reason to leave.

Caregivers are often inexperienced. And they are less of “Care” givers and more of sitters who ensure elderly people are feed and safe. If the elderly person was complaining of hunger and you didn’t provide ample ready food thst did not requiring cooking, then caregiver may have acted in benefit if the elderly person.

instead of getting revenge with terminating caregiver, make a list of the exact rules. Often things seem obvious to you that are not obvious nor permitted.

There is a shortage of caregivers so train your caregiver rather than terminating. Again write list of your rules and obvious rules.

I know all this because we recently had a caregiver who put her iPhone into loud high pitched music that gave my Mum headache. She also left to go to get car. And she bought my Mother food at grocery story after her shift and returned with it and then later charged my Mother for her time and food that was never authorized when my Mum gets groceries for free and we went to grocery store day before so there was prepared food only needing to be microwaved.

so merely speak with the caregiver and write a list. Otherwise you may not get a caregiver when you need with them shortage.

If it occurs again, then take action. Also notify the service and send them your list obviously.

we installed a cheap $30 Blink camera or two in kitchen and living room to see if my Mum falls. This camera recorded caretaker. Invest in Blink inside camera to monitor.
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This post is from August and OP has not responded since then. Probably should be shut down.
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Daphne131 Dec 2022
No. Leave post up. The point here is to learn from others. We don’t need the poster to “respond” to still learn from the answers resulting from his post. He was so quick to misblame the caregiving when all he needed to do was provide food and communicate with the caregiver not blame her.

This rush to mis-judgement agaibst caregivers who must leave to provide food which is caring for the patient, occurs much too often, so it is a great learning experiencing to others who hire caregivers but don’t provide food in the home.

There is a great reason this post is still up. It’s helpful. Just because I’ve may not like the responses doesn’t mean it should be removed because the original poster didn’t reply. He or she may be reading all the newer posts from time to time and real size error in his thinking and just learn to communicate with caregiver and provide food in the home.
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I have commented on this thread before, but since it's once again active, I'll indulge myself.
If the OP's mother is so out of it with dementia that she can't be left alone for a little while she belongs in managed care with a full, round-the-clock staff to "watch" her.
The OP is the one who is negligent and putting dementia mom at risk here by leaving one person to provide round-the-clock care seven days a week.
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Daphne131 Dec 2022
Except in managed care they leave dimentia patients alone also for hours not mere .30 minutes. Throughout the history of human life there has been aging and people who need the care from the younger adult children. There were no facilities back then. So the mere act of putting someone who has the capacity to ask for food and feed themselves doesn’t mean society and caretakers cannot leave them alone for 30 minutes. And 24 caretaker is permitted breaks.

In above post it is noteworthy dimentia patient stated she was hungry and asked for food. And given caretaker went out and got food evidences there was not ample food in the home. Hence, caretaker may have agreed to leave when asked for 30 minutes to get food, as a great necessity if not ample food in home. Think it out.

Same happens in 24 hour memory facilities. A care facility is also NOT required to be present at bedside 24 hours/day so life doesn’t improve in facility related to “watching patient.”

Moreover, having 24 caregiver in the home is unrealistic. The person deserves breaks to leave the home. It’s the law.

No harm was done proving it was not an undo undue risk. What might have happened did not. Since caregiver chose to accept patient’s request to go nearby for a half hour to return with food, that was the safer best option for well-being of patient- food. Everyone needs to eat. Everyone needs variety.

To emotionally exaggerate a response to then claim patient needs a facility is irrational, inhumane and not making the situation safer since facilities also do not sit with a patient 24 hours a day. (Since patient is requesting food, starvation may be issue a facility can resolve. Generally dimentia patients are thin and have no appetite.)

Getting food for patient is very important. If patient is hungry and is able to speak they need food, those are very healthy and good signs patient is not in severe dimentia. The days of institutionalizing a person merely, because they have a diagnosis of dimentia are over. A more humane approach is used now. Dimentia doesn’t mean people cannot reside alone accd to my Mum’s doctor in CA depending on level of dimentia and local support later.

People with dimentia often pass away with no family knowing they have dimentia. Hence, they were not unsafe by themselves. Mild dimentia patients can still legally drive. DMV not doctors decide who drivers and DMV uses objective tests.

Mild and moderate dimentia patients walk, feed, dress, bath, themselves, garden, operate telephones and TV, microwave themselves meals, make tea/coffee with instant water machine, They are not yet “dimented.” And have their legal rights to live alone.They might have peripheral help to ensure bills are paid or to drive to grocery store,doctors. This does NOt mean they cannot reside alone safely.

I know this first hand. My Mother is moderate. Doctors give me signed document saying she is LEGALLY ABLE to make her own legal decisions. This means so she can live alone if she wants to in her own home. To place in a facility mean they do not get same amount of comfort in their surroundings (well-being), do not get to see family photos around, cannot chose their own likeable food, treated as patients not as family which degrade their feeling of independence is taken from them which negatively impacts their live.

So what if they cannot recall date, time, what happened yesterday, names, don’t their medicine (unless schizophrenia or bipolar meds. It is their body and choice without dimentia so they have thst same right with it. And it no longer matters at that age if high blood pressure, or whatever. That doesn’t make them fire/fall threat to themselves or others. Just remove oven and stove knobs if memory issues. So long as family come to replenish groceries,socialize once/week or more. Than your life isn’t uprooted either and you both keep your independence and mental health more. Train caregiver with list of dos and don’t is easier, wiser, faster.
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I hate to tell you but employers usually don't give workers 2 weeks' notice at all. That is extremely rare. The only way I know of to soften the blow of firing someone is to give them a severance or a very nice piece of real jewelry. But don't give them notice because if they are resentful, it won't help your mom.
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Isn't 24/7 a bit much? Everyone needs a little time off?
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Find another caregiver and then fire her on the spot.
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Daphne131 Dec 2022
There is a shortage of caregivers. Make rules clear and in sorting and post rules even obvious ones in home for all caregivers. This trains your caregiver. Otherwise, you may not have a caregiver in future if you just fire one. Training with a list of rules is in your best interest long term. Revenge isn’t.
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Perhaps I do not understand all the pitfalls. But I do not see a problem. My wife has dementia and is bed bound. I feed her and change her diaper. And we talk. I leave her to work outside and go shopping. Even if I was in the house I would not be watching her constantly. She is in no danger. It would not be any different if she could walk. I gave up my job so I could be with her. she is never left alone for more than 2hrs.
when she was in a nursing home she was left for a lot longer with no one checking on her. This was true for most of the people there. I could not get them to even change her diaper. In fact it was their lack of care taking her to the bathroom that gave her the idea it’s ok to go in the diaper. I once waited 4 hours to get them to change the diaper after I asked them.
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I have 3 private caregivers and they all bring their snacks or lunch and beverages with them.

If any of them had to leave for whatever reason, I expect them to call me so I can come home.

If they ever left my mother alone I would fire them without hesitation, even if it put a temporary hardship on me.
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debster84 Aug 2022
Thank you. I agree and this is a very tricky situation. She is leaving in December, so I am in the process of looking for someone new. This was a true shocker. Yes, calling me first is the ONLY way it should have happened.
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Start listing the ways this caregiver has failed to "follow the rules." Since she is leaving for the Philippines for a month, let her know that she will not be working for you when she comes back. Find a more reliable caregiver.
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marybost Dec 2022
You can be twice as safe as just as effective if you just let her go. Chances are she won't come back & even if she does, she might not re-apply to you. Don't give her an answer if she asks you if she can come back to her position. Say you are taking life one step at a time. It's just safer that way, since people who are fired have been known to do nutty things plus there is no sense in insulting her over what probably was a misunderstanding. If she returns and wants the job, you can then explain that the position is actually no longer open at this time. Going forward, when a CG makes you uncomfortable, address it very promptly and have them sign a commitment not to do it again. And if they do something you feel is egregious, tell them right away and talk to them to show them how they could have gotten their needs met while still being obedient. Warn them if egregious behavior continues, you will be forced to let them go. Remind them also of the things they have done that made you uncomfortable and the forms they signed. Tell them that between signing forms and now having a more serious warning, their job is in jeopardy and they must be on their best behavior going forward if they wish to continue.
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Just for starters, 24/7 care from one hired person may not even be legal. Who backs her up to allow her to have breaks and to leave the house periodically? Are you reporting the wages appropriately or just cash pay, unreported earnings? That may also come back to haunt you.

I agree, food can be delivered just as groceries are so that a caregiver does not have to use their car and their gas to run errands for your mom. I think there are just more issues with your arrangement. I did 24/7 care for my mother, but even if I was going to venture out to be an employee to care for someone else - there's no way I'd be tied to a house for 24/7 with no relief in sight. You might want to reconsider and hire 2 or 3 different people to do overlapping shifts. Also, be more realistic about your expectations of an employee.

Of course there may be more to this story: the lady needed a place to live and you needed help, etc.
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debster84 Aug 2022
Thank you. I was giving her a lot of time off, 2-3 hours 3 days a week to get some time away. But now, I have her hire someone for the day if she needs time off. I was doing this without deducting any money so now it is up to her to pay someone if she needs a day off. And yes, I am starting the process of looking for a replacement. 🙏
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debster84: Without knowing what "the other things that I do not trust" are that this caregiver may or may not have done, I cannot speculate on the job performance of this individual.
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The caretaker is supposed to think. She's not getting paid to be a dasher. She is getting paid to stay with your mom. Why are you leaving credit cards around??? Yikes.
Id tell her right up front. I hired you for this. Its not working out. Change the locks and get the credit cards. How do you know it was for 30 mins? Did you see the food containers? Do you know it was just that 1 time, and just for 30 mins?
I'd get cameras. That way you know what's going on. They can be an alarm clock or phone charger. And tell her come December you need that time filled, so you need to hire someone. If I left my job for a month, I wouldn't expect a job when I came back unless it was my earned vacation.
Where are people reading the caretaker is working 24/7. That's not legal. If that's the case, I'd go out too. My answer would be different.
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KaleyBug Aug 2022
Title to the thread states 24/7
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This sounds illegal. This caretaker cannot work 24/7 around the clock. If she was with an agency, she would not be paid for thirteen hours because she apparently would be resting during that time. Is your caretaker allowed to shower, sleep, bathe, and do other things for herself?

This sounds very abusive to the caretaker.
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debster84 Aug 2022
She has a great setup. I go over to my mom's to give her relief 4 -5 times a week. I pay for her food and she gets to sleep when my mom sleeps (which is a lot) and when I am there.
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Even the caretaker needs a break. So, just fill in for her. That is what I do.
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Roxie0916 Dec 2022
Live in caregivers are allowed, by law, 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep per night.
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Why do you have someone working 24/7????????
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I hope the caregiver gave notice if you expect her to stay in the home 24/7/365. She’s an employee entitled to a life beyond the front door. Would you take a job where you aren’t allowed to leave for 1/2 hr?
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On the one hand, you say your mother is perfectly mentally competent. If that's the case, then she's competent to direct her caregiver to go out for 20-30 minutes to pick up an order of food for her. She's mentally competent enough to know NOT to try to get up alone while the CG is gone.

On the other hand, you are suggesting your mother is incompetent by saying she is 'bedbound and in a diaper and cannot stop anyone from doing anything.'

Which is it? Is she mentally competent to make decisions, or is she incompetent b/c she's physically unable to stop anyone from doing anything?

You would have us believe your mother is the equivalent of an adult baby lying in a bed wearing a big diaper, yet in the same breath have us believe she's in full possession of all of her faculties (based on other things you've said in previous posts).

Your mother gets to decide how this caregiver operates provided she has not been deemed incompetent due to dementia. She likes and trusts this caregiver and now you want to fire her b/c YOU don't trust her. Where's your mother's say in all these decisions you are making on her behalf?? You say you 'don't want to do anything that my mom is uncomfortable with' yet are planning to wait and 'replace her' while she's visiting family in the Philippines in December???

Again, when does your MOM get to have a say in all this? Isn't SHE the one paying the bills? And perfectly competent b/c she has all her faculties???

It's good that you want to help. It's not good that you are trying to micromanage the caregiver and override your mother's wishes. Respect your mother enough to speak with her about what SHE wants to do here. Don't go behind mom's back to fire a caregiver she likes and trusts b/c she sent her out to get food and you didn't agree with her decision to do that!!! As POAs, we only get to make these types of decisions on behalf of our mother's when they are deemed incompetent to do so themselves. Until that time, THEY get a BIG say in who cares for them, it's not all up to us!

In the meantime, it is a good idea to make your wishes known up front and honestly to this caregiver, once you run everything by mom first. This situation is all new to you, so you don't have all the rules down pat yourself. Give this woman some grace, that is my suggestion. And give your mother a say in who gets to care for her moving forward. Don't treat her like an incompetent child just b/c she's lying in a bed wearing a diaper. If she's able to call 911, she's capable of being left alone for short periods of time.

Hiring and firing a whole bunch of aides is a headache in and of itself. Nobody's perfect and nothing in life is perfect. Unless this CG has done something very untrustworthy you've seen with your own two eyes, I'd have a chat with her and give her another chance.

This is a tough situation for you being new to caregiving and hiring people. You love your mother & want the best for her. There is a fine line between wanting good care for her and suffocating her. I always try to think of things as if I were in the position myself, lying in bed after a stroke. Firstly, I'd want to be gotten up OUT of that bed and into a wheelchair every morning so I could use my legs & get the blood circulating by 'walking' in the w/c. I would not want to be treated like an invalid, and I'd want to have a big say in my own care and in my own life and rehab. What would you want for yourself, if you were in your mom's shoes? That's how to make decisions moving forward.

Good luck.
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katepaints Aug 2022
I’d stick with this caregiver if you can. It can be really difficult for a loved one to get used to and like a caregiver. It’s a risk that could turn into a massive headache. Caregiving is a big job and maybe she forgot door dash. It’s not the first thing that pops into my head . I’d your mom getting any Kind of other care or activity? Working 24/7/365 days a year is really tough.
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Change those credit cards for new ones immediately upon her departure.
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It's good to have choice. I can understand the caregivers solution, and DoorDash is something relatively new for us. And your point of view is the one that counts. Probably, the caregiver will abide by your wishes, now that she has another way to get stuff... and, better to have 2 or 3 caregivers options of people you like. I found it very difficult to find qualified people who actually did anything and for a very high price.
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first of all she should not left mom alone. I would get cameras. I also, would order food in advance. today u can order and have groceries delivered. she can get in trouble for that. I would have a sit down with her and communicate what is the problem. If u cant do the job than ur dismissed. see what is the need for her to have to go out. sometimes, good help is hard to find. u said ur mom likes her and maybe even comfortable with her i would have a good talk with her. having someone one else could be worse. if u do have to get someone else. make up a test with questions and situations give them the 20 plus questions have them explain in detail. ppl will answer how they would handle a situation. or u can do it face to face to see there reactions.
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WOW…she should use the Doordash delivery systems available..my trust would be gone. In my world she would be fired..
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My Mom used to do this crap with her caregivers. She was a fall risk, however, she didn't believe she was, didn't remember when she fell, and she didn't like paying the caregiver to watch her while she did "nothing".

My Mom was masterful in telling the caregiver to go to a different part of the house to get her something, then as soon as the caregiver left, my Mom would get up and go do something, attempting to prove that she was independent and didn't need those caregivers....and would lie about it.

I gave explicit instructions to the caregivers that their first and only priority was to be with my Mom. The dishes that my Mom just used could be left in the sink unwashed. If my Mom needed something from a different part of the house, the caregiver was to help my Mom to her walker and make my Mom go to the same room to point it out. If it was on a different level of the house, then they were told to say that they were not allowed to get it. Only when my Mom was asleep could they eat or do dishes or go to the bathroom. I instructed them to say "Your daughter told me not to do it" and not do it. I always had the back of the caregiver if my Mom quizzed me.

I've heard of people putting a mini-fridge and small microwave in the bathrooms or closets, just so that the caregiver didn't have to leave the room

In the morning, the caregiver would give me a rundown of all the things my Mom asked for and whether she could or could not fulfill the request. Then I would ask my Mom whether she asked for the things. My Mom would usually deny ever asking them. Some of the requests were absurd. My Mom was in the beginning stages of dementia (we didn't know it at the time) and she was totally unaware or played dumb (once, in a weak moment, she actually said that she "played" the caregivers)

Regarding trust, what other things has she done that you do not trust? It is extremely important to completely have complete trust between the patient, the caregiver, and the person responsible for the patient. I'm assuming that you have removed anything of value from the home. Do you stay there at night or do you go somewhere else? Also be cognizant of cultural differences and try to see if the non-trust behavior is culture based. If culture based, then speak specifically to the caregiver about it and see if you and she can come to an agreement.

So, I would be straight with the caregiver and make it easy to comply. She is NEVER to leave Mom's bedroom while your Mom is awake or could be awake. If the caregiver has been asked to do something that would take her out of the bedroom, then the caregiver is to call you. Chances are, you already have it figured out and Mom and the caregiver just need to know how you have accommodated for that. Hopefully, your Mom is not as manipulative as my Mom.

Regarding trust, if you have found that the caregiver has done something that disobeys your specific instructions and your Mom does not own up to it, and the behavior is a serious breach, then consider terminating the caregiver immediately (she doesn't come in after that shift is over) and paying 2 weeks salary plus living arrangements for 1 night (since she is 24 x 7). In the meantime, I would start interviewing new caregivers since you will have to do this anyway when she leaves for vacation. In the search, you might find someone that is better than what you have now.

Good luck.
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Judycares Aug 2022
Wow! I have an interview with home care in about half an hour. My husband sounds very much like your mom...and I fear I'm in for the same experiences. I hate this! Husband's alzheimer's keeps him totally ignorant of the half dozen times we've already had the discussion about getting help...and that he agreed to at the time. Today...he's threatening me with divorce! ( Oh yes...please...please makemy life easier...😬 )
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I just found this. Only talks about wages for live-ins, nothing about taking out payroll taxes.

https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/79b-flsa-live-in-domestic-workers
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I do agree with Burnt's response to me, if Mom is cognitive and its her money paying for the aide then Mom is the boss.

By 24/7 do you mean just this one person is there all the time? Or she is one of group of aides that you have to provide 24/7 care?

Because if this person is working 24/7 without time off this is illegal. An aide works just like any other working person. 40 hrs a week at a decent wage (at least minimum wage which in my state is now $12) Time and a half for overtime. Days off. You are suppose to be taking payroll taxes out and making sure they are being sent quarterly to the correct agencies. She should get a W2 at the EOY. IRS does not consider her self-employed.
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BurntCaregiver Aug 2022
Live-ins don't get paid hourly. They get paid salary. So it doesn't matter if they're putting in 40 hours a week or 140. The pay is the same.
The IRS will let a live-in domestic servant like a nanny (for elderly or kids) file as self-employed if they make under a certain amount.
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Just my 2cents...I would to be upset that I had gone thru the trouble of setting up Door dash and making sure the restaurants had my credit card information only to have my employee do what they wanted. Especially after being told that she was not to leave Mom alone.

No matter what the employee feels or thinks, debster is her boss. In all the jobs I have had, what bosses say go. At times I may question, I even had one boss sign off that he told me something to do I knew would come back at me and it did. He tried to blame me and I brought out my signed paper. His response, touche.

"She has done other things that I do not trust." I think it needs to made plain that you hired her and what you say goes. Because Mom likes her, you really want to keep her on. Tell her if she wants to keep the job she has to realize she answers to you.
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BurntCaregiver Aug 2022
Actually, JoAnn you answer to the person who pays you. If the client is paying for themselves they should get to decide if their caregiver stays or goes granted they aren't so far gone with dementia as to not be able to make the decision.
I think that many times a conflict gets causes because families don't know what are reasonable expectations to have with a caregiver and what aren't.
Many times families do not understand that one person cannot do the work of a staff. The caregiver can't sit and hold your "loved one's" hand all day or night long while still getting all the other work done.
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It's impossible for any of us to judge whether or not this is a case of unreasonable expectations and micromanaging or there is truly something off about the caregiver. I had one agency caregiver who seemed competent and able but little accidents kept happening when she was there, including mom falling more than once (hey, I'd had mom on the floor myself so I knew accidents do happen). Not having any evidence of wrongdoing I asked for someone else due to "a personality conflict" - mom was never on the floor again and all the other little problems stopped too, so sometimes you really do have to trust your gut instincts.
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