What can we do? She thinks I'm out to get her and that I have everyone on my side, so we can all confuse her and drive her insane. I do not want her to go home; she is currently in a rehabilitation center. We can not afford 24-hour care at home and have applied to the state, but we aren't sure of the outcome. She was sent home previously and wouldn't answer the door for the at-home services they sent.
She does not take her meds, eat or keep any type of schedule alone, even at the rehabilitation center she sometimes grabs her meds and doesn't take them.
I've read that POA does no good because if the person is lucid, they can not be kept anywhere against their will, and to get guardianship is costly. She looks lucid but isn't underneath. She's confused and agitated and, last night, threatened to break her fingers while we were talking (I recorded this on my phone). Regardless, I will get the documents from the law library today to see if we can obtain an emergency guardianship for her.
What else can we do? We live in AZ.
I would tell the rehab social workers that you cannot act for your mother legally, that you haven't the knowledge nor the time and cannot control her, and that you are requesting that APS examine her for competency and diagnosis. I would tell them that you want state guardianship and that sending her home is an "unsafe discharge". It is important that you use that exact wording--unsafe discharge--and repeat it to nursing, discharge planning, social workers, doctors.
I would allow the state to take guardianship. You do not tell us here that your mother even has a diagnosis. It isn't clear whether she is suffering from dementia or from mental illness. She doesn't seem to have a diagnosis. She needs help you really aren't qualified to give her.
If she does go home call APS for wellness checks. Do not enable her staying in an unsafe environment on her own.
I am so sorry you and your mom are going through all this.
In my personal experience with getting PoA activated, the doctors are very sympathetic and willing to get this done. I'm PoA for my 105-yr old Aunt in FL (I'm in MN). She has been amazingly cogent up until these past few months. She is barely mobile, living in her home with a paid family caregiver. Because I had accompanied her to past medical exams and met with her primary doc, I was able (over the phone) to get her this doctor to do a house call (yesterday) because I made the case that I can't do anything for her until she has a diagnosis in her records, signed by her doctor. I told the doc she is running out of money and without active PoA I had no way to pay for her future care.
I've also done similar with my MIL and my own Mom.
If you are her PoA then see what you can get done by carefully and diplomatically explaining to a primary doctor that you can't help her until she has a diagnosis of cogntive impairment that requires help by her PoA. At 83, it is highly likely that her prior undiagnosed mental illness is now blended with age-related decline that she would have had anyway, mental illness or not.
I wish you success in getting this done instead of guardianship.