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Our mother is in a nursing home in Arkansas, I'm in Pennsylvania and my brother is in NY, the 3 of us together placed a standard POA in place for the day our mother would become mentally unable to make important decisions for herself. There's no large amounts of money involved or any property, just a very simple POA is in place. The relationship is extremely strained and always has been which is unfortunate but I need to cease relations I'm afraid and my younger brother doesn't want the responsibility so I'm looking to just end the POA entirely. She's safe and being very well taken care of in the home she resides at now which is what's most important to us.

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Is Mom private pay or on Medicaid.

If on medicaid, your job is pretty much done. POA does not obligate you to keep in touch. I had Moms NH as her payee for SS and pension that way I did not need to write a monthly check. Is it because the NH calls u about her care, etc?

I agree, get a lawyer to revoke ur POA.
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foohalen Jul 2021
My mom was on private pay until she didn't have enough funds in her bank account, now the Medicaid has kicked in. I've begun the revocation process for my brother and I...thank you!!!
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I just want to point out that being POA doesn't obligate you to having any kind of relationship, after all the person assigned as her guardian will likely never meet her and to them she will be just a case number.
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foohalen Jul 2021
Thank you!
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When my mom had her stroke she had 2 POAs - Me and her granddaughter (who lives out of state and had just left from seeing mom in the hospital - she couldn’t fly right back here). In order for the bank to talk to me they wanted us both there. One little word was wrong in her document and instead of saying either/ or (meaning either one of us could be present) it said me AND my niece so they wanted us both there at the same time. My moms attorney had to do up a resignation letter - My niece did have to resign as POA and I have to carry that notarized letter with me. So I am thinking you may have to do up a resignation letter - get it notarized and probably file it with her other and original documents at the nursing home?
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I would suggest that you talk to the lawyer that drew up the POA or a lawyer that might be able to send a letter to your brother indicating that you no longer can be responsible for being a POA.
I would imagine if your brother also wants to rescind his POA that your mother would then have to have another appointed. Since she can no longer appoint a POA it would be left to the lawyer or possibly the court to become her POA and they might have to become Guardian as well.
If your brother wishes to continue as POA your involvement would end and his would continue as is. I would also send a letter to the Facility where your mom resides and inform them that you are no longer POA.
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Following on from what Joann and Cwillie said, there may be nothing you have to do now that your mother is in good care. A POA doesn’t mean you have to stay in contact. Perhaps there is no practical ‘responsibility’ to resign from - resigning may be just symbolic in your own head. If this is true, it may be possible just to leave things as they are, and avoid the hassles that may result in dealing with guardianship or other arrangements. It may be that there will be no need for any involvement until you are asked to contact a funeral director to cope with the final arrangements – and that may just mean a phone call.

If relationships are still ‘extremely strained’, there is no need for you to stay in contact, and you resigning won’t stop her from contacting you. A POA gives you Power to act for your mother, but it doesn’t force you to do so.
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foohalen Jul 2021
Thank you very much!! I spoke to an Arkansas lawyer and he stated that I didn't really have to do anything except to notify any place that may have the POA, which is only the nursing home. If I wanted, for my own piece of mind, have a resignation form drawn up and notarized I could do so, but its absolutely not required. That's what were doing...she's in good hands and I can walk away knowing she's being well taken care of. I've been estranged from my mother for a number of years and only got involved with her again this year but the relationship went right back to to where it was when I first walked away and for my own sanity I need to do so again...I don't want anyone to think I'm some evil person just dumping her off somewhere, that's not the case here...I do want her to be safe and receive the care she needs and that's what's happening....thanks again!
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Get the guardianship in order, it will clear yourself from later regrets.
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Thank you!
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Talk to the nursing home she's in. They will get appointed conservatorship over your mother. You and your brothers will have to sign off on some paperwork, but the nursing home will get all of it together for you.
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