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You've done what needed to be done. You have ensured he's safe, cared for, and getting the best care you can give. You were not able to do it yourself, but that doesn't mean you aren't providing care for him.

You have not earned guilt, but rather praise. You could have just walked away and left him to his own devices after your childhood, but you've chosen the love part of that love/hate relationship. I see nothing to be guilty about.
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SurfGirl Jun 2022
Thank you for your kind words. I did the very best I could but I’m tired now. God did give me a blessing by getting my Dad into long term care through a very bad fall he had. I need to accept the blessing and be thankful. God also in a way blessed my Dad to be able to be taken care of because it got to the point that I couldn’t do it. He is a big man that has diabetes.
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It can't be guilt because you've done nothing wrong. Think of it as grief. Keep celebrating the breaking of the chain of abuse. When you feel guilt, start counting his blessings for him -- then you will see you have nothing to feel badly about his current situation. Many who didn't live recklessly are in far worse positions, wishing for a daughter like you. May you accept peace in your heart!
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SurfGirl Jun 2022
Thank you. I guess I am experiencing grief because he was never the father I needed. He tried and he was good to me at times but me having to take on the role of his parent at a young was hard. And you are right, I could have just walked away and let him live a much more miserable life and eventually drink himself to death but I chose to help me the best I could. I’m slowly pushing through all of this. Thanks for your insight.
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