Trees trimmed (the limbs are brittle and falling out of the sky), the fence needs repair, etc. He has an acre of land that needs pruning, trimming and clean up. He doesn't want me to hire anyone to do it. My husband and I have been doing it for 20 years and we are 61 now and worn out. I have POA for dad. Do I just go ahead and hire people to do this work over his objections? One tree limb has a crack so big you can see through it and it is hanging over the house. He ALWAYS tells me "I'll do it" and sometimes he tries. Last time he got on the roof he forgot where his ladder was and couldn't get down. Any recommendations?
It was the same getting him to eat. If you ask him if he wanted a plate of food NO IM FINE......You just hand him the plate and he would eat.
My dad usually caved in pretty quickly when workers showed up. I would always call ahead, explain we had some dementia going on and tell the guys just to follow my lead. They were always great.
Damnedest thing how every tradesman was an old football buddy of mine and all mom’s aides and nurses were old girlfriends.
And I also got tired of trying to keep up with a falling down house and 5 acres of brush and dead trees. I started hiring people to just do the most basic stuff: No falling trees on the house, running water, heat and a/c. Etc.
I used to Fib, lie, cheat and trick my dad to get basic stuff done. THAT GUYS AN OLD BUDDY. CARPET CLEANING WAS FREE! Or another method DONT WORRY DAD, YOUR INSURANCE WILL COVER IT!
And you can also try and get him off the property to get the tree work done. Just do the minimum to keep the house safe.
My dad would catch on once in awhile, throw a hissy, but he’d forget by the next day.
Using your poa is a judgement call. I always used my parents money, not mine for their house stuff, and I’m inclined to tell you to do likewise, But if this could go nuclear on you..........Well, proceed with a good plan.
YES!!!!!!! Just do it!
Funny story: I have been having work done on our "summer" house (in which we now live permanently) for about two years without ever telling my husband about it. I had the work done while we were in the other house. He has never noticed that the work was done!
So, there's that...
But as his daughter and the person who has to take care of him should there be an accident, roof damage, broken hip, etc., he leaves you little choice.
I sold my in laws home a couple of years after they passed. Part of getting the property ready to sell was a complete landscape overhaul. The difference was so dramatic. My husband has said many times how sorry he was that he didnt do that before his parents passed, that his dad would have loved the transformation.
Even if dad gets angry he will no doubt be relieved when it’s done.
Be sure to come back and let us know how it goes.
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