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She has given said person over $125,000. Her husband just died, and she will inherit $1 million. Her kids are worried she will give it all to this person. She says it's her money, which it is. Kids dont want to see her end up penniless. She is in denial, very secretive. She has maxed out all credit cards. How can her children stop her from giving away everything? They don't care about the money, they are only worried about her well-being. Her husband had video from the store of her buying gift cards and sending them over her phone. He was going to start an investigation, but suddenly died. She is 64 and a complete alcoholic. She is smitten with whomever this person is. What can her children do to keep her from financial ruin??

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If the children can follow the email and actually research or use a Private Investigator on this they can take her on a field trip to meet this bunko artist. Otherwise, if she is competent there is little they can do but dig out of his archives Dr Phil's shows about catfishing. Even watching them you will note that even Dr Phil has little luck with these gullible souls and that is often after they get "taken" more than once.
There's no rules against being crazy or misguided in this country and the kids cannot get any guardianship over her for this. So the money is likely to be lost. For her it is apparently worth it as she is getting the attention she pays for most royally. Every year billions of dollars are lost to con men in this country or those who are actually--more often--acting outside the country. Getting a hold and busting this one will not stop another.
Best thing to do is start taking her to church socials and hope she meets someone here, but fantasy is often a lot more attractive than reality.
I sure feel sorry for anyone involved.
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Mellymel, here's an idea, pretend you are interested knowing more aboutt his "guy". Ask to see a photo, and if possible have your friend forward the photo to you. And if your friend has a photo of the guy's passport, try to get a copy. Chat girlfriend to girlfriend about this fellow to gather more information, such as if that fellow had given her a U.S. address.

There are websites where you can insert the photo and the website will search for places where that photo has been posted [sorry I don't know what websites do this]. The picture in the photo, that person is also a victim.

Look at the passport to see if anything had been photocopied, cut and paste. You could even use a therapeutic-fib and say that passport isn't real.

For any U.S. address, you can type the address in the Internet search line and Google will bring up that address, if it exists.

Chances are your friend will make all sorts of excuses for the fellow, but maybe it will get her thinking.

Her children need to talk with an Elder Law attorney to see what is the best route for them to take, as their mother isn't making good financial decisions. If the husband's estate is still in Probate, have the children talk to the Probate Judge to get his/her opinion. Maybe Probate can be delayed while everyone tries to figure out what to do.
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Yes she will lose all her money to this scammer or another one. If she is mentally competent there is nothing you can do. I would however disable internet. Change phone number and anything to make it harder for these scammers to get in touch with mom.

Sometimes you have to play dirty to save someone from themselves because no one will stop these foolish elders from being taken to the cleaners.
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I don't think anyone will be able to convince her. If none of her children are her PoA, then they should pursue guardianship.

In the meantime (if I were in their shoes) they need to try to shut down her internet access by blocking her wifi or something and telling her it is the solar storms interferring with the signal, or having a friend pose as a tech serviceperson who will come in to "fix" the problem. If she's using a table or laptop or mobile phone, they will need to be creative or maybe get her to reveal her passwords and then change them and pretend the internet is still broken. Whatever fib works in the moment.
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How come I can never find people to give me money? 😉
Depending on how far her kids what to take this...if she is an alcoholic as you say if she has shown any other poor decision making times her kids might be successful in having her declared incompetent. BUT courts / judges do not like that, they do not want to take a person independence from them on a permanent basis. (so this would be very difficult)
But if the kids could on a temporary basis while she is having treatment for alcoholism and place the money into trusts that she would have a more difficult time accessing.
Other than that there is no way to stop this until she stops sending, giving money to the person scamming her.
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Get the authorities involved. The FBI is extremely interested in this type of activity as people are losing millions of dollars every year. They will speak to your friend and let them know what is happening. They deal with this all the time. This is a financial crime and you need to report it immediately as chances are they are also doing this to someone else. Here is a link to report the crime: www.ic3.gov

Also, I would get her kids to speak to the FBI as well. They can help with tips on how to talk to her and any steps they can take to stop this from happening.
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Dr. Phil often has shows with people this has happened to. Look some of those up and show them to her. One woman allowed this to happen twice, after she had been on the show during the first time. AND It was the same person enchanting her!

If she is competent she can do what she wants with her money, unfortunately. You could try contacting the authorities to let them know this is.happening. But, they may be very limited in what they can do.
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