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He is nearly 77 and I am 80. I am finding it very hard. I am stressed all the time. He is verbally abusive most of the time. He won't wash or shower. He's in bed nearly all day. He's not eating much only goods. I can't cope much more. I have lost 2 stone.

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I'm so sorry for the distress this is causing! Can you tell us what country you live in so that those on the forum who also live in your country can give you the best guidance? Thank you!
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The mention of "stone" probably means England?
The US health system is so much different than other countries. We have Medicaid here that helps with the cost of nursing home care. We have a few members from the UK one is Country Mouse. Its about 2:30 pm in the UK right now so CM is working. She will be on later.
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Speak with your Husband's Doctor to let him or her know you cannot go on and that you require placement now for your Husband. You say "he has lost 2 stone" so I am guessing you are not in the USA. Not certain how this works where you live, but in the USA we sometimes have to resort to hospitalization. Any excuse will do, call ambulance for transport and speak to SocialWorkers at once, letting them know you cannot have your husband return home due to your physical and mental inability to care for him. I am wishing you the best.
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uk .we did have carers but he wouid not let them help him .he in bed nearly all day .he not eating only goods .i have lost 2 stone in weight with stress im 80 years old know one helps in uk
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