He later became an alcholic and smoker as well. He does have an addictive personality. He’s deceptive, will lie about little things that don’t matter. He hoards his sweets so that I don’t think he has any (even though it’s fine with me if that’s what he wants to eat.) I just wonder if some of the things from childhood will show up in the Alzheimer’s behavior, and if he may forget he stopped drinking and smoking.
However, having said that, my experience with my mother seems to indicate that past traumas can affect dementia patients. She was always a prude. I had to learn about sex from a baby book in our attic. She probably left it there for me to find so she didn’t have to have “the talk” with me.
After dementia took hold of her, sex was 95% of her conversations when I visited. The facility was a “brothel” and all the staff and elderly patients were having sex. Men and boys were stalking her and one boy in particular was stealing her dirty underwear. She told me once that when she was a young secretary, she went on “rides” with her much older boss. I have no way of knowing what happened, if anything, between them.
People with dementia seem to live in the past. They often don’t recognize us because they remember us from our childhood and how we looked then—or in your husband’s case maybe when you were a young bride.
You can nix the drinking and smoking by simply not providing access to those. Warn people who visit not to give him alcohol or smokes. My husband bums cigarettes off our son-in-law and it annoys me no end. If your husband demands them, redirect.